MOLVANIA

MOLVANIA

A Land Untouched By Modern Dentistry

- Santo Cilauro, Tom Gleisner, Rob Sitch -

What a great guide to this relatively unknown, rundown, and backward country. For the traveller who actually considers going to Molvania, this book is a must to keep in the backpack. There is a bit of everything ranging from the history of this cement loving country to tips on how to interact with locals.
I personally love how the book starts. Paraphrasing here - Robust culture, magnificent panoramic views, unique flavourful foods, welcoming hosts, are all sadly, absent from Molvania. But, if you look hard enough the most adventurous traveller can have a one of kind travel experience.
This tone resonates throughout the book. That of a harsh, but, realistic look at this country, yet, upbeat at the same time. The few, and far between, bright (or at least not pitch black) spots of Molvania are really brought to the forefront with this type of writing. It makes one almost want to plan a visit. 
The format of this book makes it really easy to either skim through and find specific information such as hotel recommendations in the East Mountains, or just read straight through and pick up a good base knowledge of the entire country and its people. 
I personally enjoyed the highlighting of specific words dotted throughout the pages. It gave me direction and was an easy way to emphasize some of the more important facts or themes the authors were trying to get across. For eg, I have pulled a few pages from The People and The Arts sections of the book and listed the highlighted words below :

• blowing your nose
• barren plains
• chainsaws
• head butting
• public hanging
• cheap euro porn
• noticeable stutter
• Beta Video

See how just highlighting a few words can give the reader a much better understanding of the topic at hand. Don't you feel that much more enlighten on The People and The Arts of Molvania by just reading that list? I know I did while reading through this guide.

I will also applaud the hotel and restaurant recommendation section of the guide. The writers sure did their homework on this front and not only gave reviews of the somewhat Western friendly establishments, but, also the 'budget' places for those on a budget or for those looking for a more authentic experience. Personally, I'm happier knowing what restaurants serve horse meat. At least I know which ones to avoid right?

Scattered throughout the guide are tips, which I thought were not only useful, but gave even more insight into the strange and abnormal workings of the Molvanian mind. The tips ranged from common saying and greetings that one would need to know (in order to avoid physical assaults for eg), to what drinks to avoid if travelling the barren plains of the East (turns out many alcoholic drinks contain such things as gasoline and antifreeze).

After reading this guide I was struck with two thoughts. First, how awful a trip to Molvania sounded, what with the lack a hygiene, the constant threat of assault, and the smell. Then it struck me, this book could change all of that. Maybe, just maybe, a book like this will inspire some poor soul to take up the challenge and travel to Molvania. If they survive, there experience will no doubt cause more people (or at least the previous traveller's lawyers) to pay a visit to Molvania. And, maybe if enough people do this, the culture and laws of this country will change and allow it to become more tourist friendly. Then even a novice traveller like myself may consider spending a weekend in Lutenblaag. We can only hope.

RATING : READ

NIGHTLIGHT - A Parody

NIGHTLIGHT - A Parody

- The Harvard Lampoon -

Nightlight has all the aspects of Twillight - the brooding teen aged clutz, the vampire love affair that stretches page after page, even a Bella and and Edward, er sorry a Belle and an Edwart, but, close enough right...well, not close enough to infringe on copyrights and be sued of course.

As with any good Parody, Nightlight roughly follows the story of Twilight, highlighting the ridiculous parts and shining a critical light on the book that captured the spotlight in, and around, 2006/2007 .

Right from the start the character flaws of Belle are exaggerated to such an extreme that is seems unrealistic; the setting is mocked with ease; and the supporting characters are written with that little bit of extra hot sauce that gives it a kick...showing the lack of 'kick' the original Twilight had. Not that making a joke or two about Twilight is that hard - 'I think my boyfriend may be a vampire', nuff said.

Sadly, the amount of pleasure and laughter I experienced reading Nightlight really only proved one thing. That I had my own deep dark secret...and it wasn't that my boyfriend was a vampire...no, it was that I read, had watch, and had somewhat enjoyed Twilight. That's the thing about parodies, you need to know the original in order to laugh at the jokes. Fine, my secret is out there - I'm a Twilighter (or whatever they are called nowadays, A Breaking Dawner? A Newish Mooner?)

But, to make it sound a little better, at least to my ears and self respect, I didn't actually read, er, finish the book. I've only watched the movies. All of them. Multiple times. But, I hated the book. Twilight, the book form I will reiterate, was a long drawn out romance. Not my thing. But, Twilight the movie was full of half shirted action heroes, doing actiony things like climbing trees and fighting evil. That works for me.

Nightlight starts out exactly like Twilight with Belle leaving her mother to go live in a rainy village in Oregon that is too small to be on a real map. She lives in her old bedroom with her absentminded dad and goes to highschool. Many similar things happen, she meets Edwart in biology class, she is almost hit by a car, she Googles info about vampires. From there things take a bit of a twist. Belle and Edwart's love affair fizzles out when she discovers he is not a vampire. Instead there are real vampires out there trying to bite her. It gets a bit crazy from there, but, still remains funny and entertaining.

The characters are slightly different as well, which makes for some good laughs. Belle is completely self obsessed and has the ego of Donald Trump. While Edwart is a pale faced computer nerd who has no self confidence at all. The Dad is almost exactly the same, which is hilarious. And, there is no real 'Jacob' character. So, if you are a Team Jacob type of person you may be slightly peeved if you read this book. Thank goodness I'm all for Team Edward.

RATING : READ