PETER BLUE

PETER BLUE

- Max Brand -

Max Brand is, as the cover of this novel states, the most celebrated western writer in the world. Hmm...

If this implies Max Brand is the best western writer of all time, I may have to disagree.

I've been reading a lot of Louis L'Amour lately and there is no comparison. This book was lacking the whole western atmosphere. The cowboy lingo, the descriptions of hot deserts, and the countless gunfights. It lacked the galloping pace L'Amour sets and is left in the dust.

For eg. Peter Blue is a legendary gunfighter whose draw hand has been shot. In an attempt to avoid future gunbattles, which he is sure to lose, he hides out in a shack overlooking some trees and a meadow. He ends up falling in love with the local sheriff's daughter and befriending a near senile old timer who likes to plow fields all day...where is the action I say? Eventually, after what seems like a hundred pages, there is a small skirmish that leads to a duel. The duel is to happen...oh, in another hundred pages. Finally, in the last few pages of this novel Peter Blue comes barreling into town shootin' with his left hand.

That's it. No dusty deserts, no saloon brawls, and only two small gun fights.

Not what I expected from a 'Western'. I expect more action, at least twenty shot up bad dudes, and maybe a mention of a cactus or a tumbleweed. Now, it's not that Brand is a bad writer, I wouldn't have made it through the book if he was, it's just that it lacked that Western flair. Maybe it was this particular book? Maybe it was me? I'll try more Max Brand at some point, but, I wouldn't recommend Peter Blue to any of my friends.

RATING : DO NOT READ

MOJAVE CROSSING

MOJAVE CROSSING 

(Sackett's #9)

- Louis L'Amour -

Why is it that good hearted cowboys always seem to get dragged into trouble by dark hearted women?

This is another novel where one of the Sackett boys goes out of his way to help a lady and ends up in a whole heap o' trouble - gunfights, suicidal desert crossings, saloon brawls, etc - because of her. This time Tell helps out a lady named Dorinda. She looks innocent enough at the beginning. Just a lady who needs some help getting to California. It quickly turns into a situation where Tell and this lady are high tailing it across the open desert being chased by some hired thugs. After almost dying of thirst Tell is shot at and almost killed. Through a chance encounter with some good natured bandits he manages to survive. But, of course, he feels there is some unfinished business with this Dorinda lady and the roughnecks that left him for dead in the desert. There was more to this story that needed explained to him.

Well, it turns out this lady was connected with a former pirate (now that's a twist!)...who was thought to have a treasure chest full of coins buried along the coast somewhere. Along with this pirate, there were a mittful of petty criminals and gunfighters that seem to be written into the story just to get shot by Tell.

Through a turn of events Tell ends up helping this former pirate. First he helps him find his gold and then helps rid his house of turncoats (Dorinda being one of them). He does this out of the goodness of his heart. In the process Tell has a run in with one of his kin, a distant relative of the Sackett clan from out east.

In the final scene Tell is surrounded by a crowd of the pirate's former gang, all mean nasty characters who all have it in their heads to finish off Tell. That is when, as put very eloquently on the Jerry Springer show - 'blood is thicker', that distant relative of Tell rides in to save the day.

I really like these Sackett books. In this one you really get to like Tell Sackett. There is not a mean, arrogant, egotistical bone in his body. He is all gentleman. Yet, that is what makes many of his lines sound a bit farcical. Most of his lines are deadly serious, especially when he comments on human nature or his indepth knowledge of the desert. If you have a strong humour streak, like me, there are many times when you read something Tell says and slip in sarcasm mode...for eg. He describes himself as, "big raw-boned mountain boy, rougher than a cob and standing six feet three inches in my socks, with hands and shoulders fit to wrassle mustang broncs or ornery steers, but no hand with womenfolks". So, serious, yet if viewed through the sarcasm spectrum it is hilarious...'wrassle...in his socks", come on, that is funny!

RATING: READ

DON'T QUOTE ME...NUMBER B

DON'T QUOTE ME...

(Writing tips from a naive writer)

WRITING TIP NUMBER :B

So, don't quote me, but, shouldn't a writer be able to describe things in:

a) many ways,
b) multiple ways,
3) a variety of ways,
iv) a plethora of ways, 
E) an indefinite number of ways,
-....) in Morse code perhaps?

The Thesaurus is your friend.
So is: a wacked way of looking at the world, an out of the box thinker, and a working knowledge of at least five languages (sign language is included).

THE DAYBREAKERS

THE DAYBREAKERS

(Sacketts #6)

- Louis L'Amour -

Another classic Western story where a tough kid from the East brings justice to a fledgling town in the wild West. Apparently, this is number six in a series, yet it felt like both a stand alone novel or the beginning of an epic series. It starts at the beginning (haha), when two brothers, Tyrel and Orrin Sackett, take off to the open country of the West. They face a pile of obstacles; natives, roughnecks, gamblers, drunks, land grabbers...all the common villain types. They end up settling in a small town and start rachin'. From there the two brothers build different lives; Orrin goes into politics, Tye becomes town Sheriff. From there, the big trouble begins. Orrin marries into a family that turns out to be pretty nasty and Tye, as Sheriff, has to shoot down a few people. The ending leaves us with a safe town free of any 'bad guys'. Yet, both brothers have some unfinished business with Orrin's former wife and Father-in-law. As a spoiler, I know this feud between the Sacketts and the Pritts continues on for many books.

Looking over reviews of this book it becomes pretty apparent that readers both love Louis L'Amour and this particular book. There seems to be a read admiration for Tyrel as well. To me, he just seems like all the other good-hearted cowboys in these books. It's interesting to see what motivated people to read this book. Some by accident, some recommended, some because their Father or Grandfather read these books. Many seem to have the same reaction I have, that they really enjoy this genre, even though they'd never consider reading them before. Very interesting.

This particular book I read in LARGE-PRINT format. It was one of the many books I picked up at the box of books for $5 auction. Glad I picked it up. Next year I know to not just glance over the Western section, but, scoop it up!

RATING: READ

WESTERNS

WESTERNS

Louis L'Amour & Cotton Smith

I have another literary secret that I'm finally admitting to, besides my periodic chick-lit reads, I love Westerns! 

Where else can a guy go to get a taste of cowboy life? A life where one lives on a horse, shoots up bad folk, and can take a bullet (or four) and still live to tell about it. Not only that, but these guys are flawless in a social sense. Their morals are always good, they have great manners, and they appreciate the environment. What more could you want in a character? Maybe a handlebar mustache? Well, sometimes they do sport a nice 'stash.

The storylines in these books, although sometimes predictable, are always full of action and adventure - hence, the 'take a bullet (or four) and still live to tell about it'.

My interest in this genre started earlier this year when I read Stands a Ranger. It was classic. A ranger comes into a dusty desert town and solves a few problems with the local black hats. There were countless shootouts, a saloon fight, and the ranger managed to do it all after being shot a handful of times. In the end the good guys won, hooray!

Recently, I've been listening to Louis L'Amour stories. The Lonely Men was another classic. A lone cowboy, with outstanding morals, saves a bunch of kids from the Natives. Again, countless shootouts, a saloon fight, and a bullet wound that would have killed any other man.  

Both of these stories also featured a strong woman character - who happen to shoot shotguns!  Very progressive in my opinion.

I know it is cheesey, but, I love when the Cowboy/Ranger can take on a pack of five ruffians, shoot them all with pinpoint accuracy, while they only manage to hit the dirt (or maybe a hat) with their bullets. How can you not love a talented man like that? Don't you just want to walk a mile in his boots, wear his hat, sport some chaps...ok, too far.

Although, I do wonder how to justify the hundreds upon hundreds of people these cowboys kill. Yes, they may be 'bad guys', but, how much blood can one hero draw before it's too much? That is the question I leave you with today...

I KNOW I AM, BUT WHAT ARE YOU?

I KNOW I AM, BUT WHAT ARE YOU?

- Samantha Bee -

What a ride (that was both praise...and shock). Samantha puts down some of the more memorable and humorous moments of her life in this biography of sorts. We start with her childhood - that explains a lot. Then onto her rebellious teen years. Her short stint in crime. Onto an animal story. Her experiences with the male organ. Then a giant rant about putting in some thought when giving a present.

The writing is overly wordy, filled with funny pop references, packed with sexual jokery, and is constantly off topic. But, done very well for that kind of writing. It's the kind of writing that makes you pay attention, in order to get the references and the word play, it sucks you in and takes you away from reality. You are vacuumed (hoovered up) into Samantha's book world and left feeling a bit shocked but in a good mood.

She starts the book off with a few classic Canadian childhood memories. Like going camping or tagging along with a couple while they honeymoon on the East Coast (including taking over their motel room when it rained - and it rained a lot). The Canadian experience continues when Sam starts to date a boy whose family, recently immigrated to Canada, does not approve of her and her Canadian ways. With this boy she helps commit car theft. Ah, true northern spirit. Then onto those awkward feathered hair years trying to catch older boys at heavy metals concerts and county fairs. We've all been there eh? Then the early adult experience of trying to live with roommates. Sam-wiched in with these stories are Sam's recollections of family pets, all shapes and sizes - there were many. As well, she often has a good side story on the more risk-eh? topics to add in the mix. So, overall very funny, very interesting, and could be considered a great Canadian work of literature...in some parts of the country (I'm thinking way way up North).

Rating: Read

Additional note: The cover is also appealing to children. They like bees. Or, people dressed as bees.

THE BEST LAID PLANS

THE BEST LAID PLANS

- Terry Fallis -

Finally, a book with a Caucus joke. I'm amazed this word is not used more often. I frequently find myself giggling when I'm listening to the radio and hear this word used in a serious news cast. Eg. Today the Prime Minister met with his Caucus to discuss potential problems with the recent low inflation rates. The Best Laid Plans has a Caucus joke (or two) and many more play on words with all that political jargon we often hear. There is also talk of chess, hovercrafts, and the Liberal Party of Canada...all funny topics on their own, but, mashed together by Fallis they become a hilarious story all Canadians need to read.

This is a satirical look into the inner workings of Canadian politics. It starts with Daniel, a burnt out political aid who leaves the Liberal party with one small favour asked of him - to find and run a candidate in a small rural riding. The problem: this riding has almost no Liberal support, let alone candidates, and has been won year after year by one of the most popular Conservative members of all time. 

The impossible begins.

Through some hard work and compromise a reluctant candidate is found (with a promise of not winning) and two unorthodox looking volunteers are reigned in to help run the election campaign. After a few unforeseen twists the impossible happens.

The story then shifts to the inner workings of our nation's capital, showing us many of the flaws inherent in our Parliamentary system, the flaws in many members, and the flaws of a Caucus. The newly elected member turns into a kind of lovable maverick who bucks tradition and acts in a way we would love all of our politicians to act - in the country's best interest with no regard for reelection.

You do not have to be a political buff to appreciate the story or jokes in this book and you don't have to even be Canadian to enjoy the story - although it does help a little. The writing by Fallis is easy to get into and easy to relate to. Most of the funny situations that arise transcend the political world and could just as easily happen in an office, any kind of community council, heck even a bookclub setting. It just seems to be that little bit funnier when it takes place with the leaders of our country, and a little bit scarier too. The characters, for the most part, are believable and lovable...especially that Maverick McLintock, who is the classic hard shelled grump with a soft chewy interior that you just want to eat up after you get to know him. Mmm.

RATING: READ

GUARDS! GUARDS!

GUARDS! GUARDS!

- Terry Pratchett -

We get to meet the Night Watch in this 8th Discworld novel by Pratchett. You gotta love a ragtag bunch of losers who have no recognizable talents and put no effort into their jobs whatsoever, yet, somehow seem to come out on top. This is the kind of situations that bring out the best in a character...or at least makes them memorable. Carrot, Knobbly (sic), Colon, and the other guy are now etched into that happy spot in my brain.

This toasty offering is just bubbling with laughs. Not only do we have the incompetent Night Watch, but there is a Crazy cat lady...er, Crazy dragon lady, a hilarious bunch of argumentative 'brothers', an angry librarian ape, and a dragon in heat. Image the story you can forge with all those characters.

I rank it up there as one of the better Discworlds I have read so far. 

Funny, as with some of the previous Discworld novels, I can barely recall the actual story line(s). What I vividly recall is a patchwork of funny scenes or one of the hilarious discussions/arguments. The book leaves me with more of a feeling than a distinct memory. A good, funny, happy feeling. Strange...

RATING: READ

P.S. Think Carrot top.

I'VE GOT YOUR NUMBER

I'VE GOT YOUR NUMBER

(Chic-lit secret read #8)

- Sophie Kinsella -

Again my theory on Kinsella proves true. This book sat on satire and now has to run home and change! It's that bad...er, good. It is a powerful look at how deep cell phones (mobile phones for you English Englanders) have invaded our lives, how much control they have over people's behaviours, and even how they effect love lives!

There are many lines in the book that really drive home how personal cell phones are to some people. When Poppy loses her phone she says something along the lines of, "I feel like I've lost my life". Later on in the novel when she has the phone, with all her contacts and messages, she says the feeling of it in her hand is 'comforting'. Another example is when a computer tech realizes two people have been 'sharing' a phone he is shocked and calls them 'sick'. Wow, for a person such as myself that does not even own a cell phone I feel like I am missing out on a whole new world. I bet it is the same for those who are blogless, and do not know the rush of seeing your hit count rise or the ultimate enjoyment of seeing comments!

Back to the book now. The story really begins when Poppy loses her cell phone. She is so desperate to remain in contact with the world, for a variety of reasons mostly to do with her upcoming wedding and a missing engagement ring, that she ends up using a phone she finds in a garbage can. Yes, I realize this sounds outrageous and a too far fetched even for chick-lit, but, Kinsella's writing (and slightly crazed characters) make this seem believable. 

It turns out this phone is from the personal assistant of a rich, extremely successful, slightly handsome, emotionally fraught, guy named Sam. Sam is one of those people who is so busy, from all his success, that he leaves most of his life with his personal assistant. Therefore, the phone is chock-full-o-info on this guys life.

Poppy ends up making a deal with Sam that allows her to use this phone for just a couple of days and in exchange she is to forward all messages and emails onto Sam. After a day or two Poppy becomes deeply involved in Sam's life, both his personal life and professional life, thanks to all of the messages on this phone...which she was not supposed to read, but, did to burn time while riding the Tube. Since she doesn't know the entire story, or Sam on any sort of real life level, she starts to make assumptions and acts on them - replying to messages, setting up appointments...trying in her own way to be helpful. Of course these all backfire and make for some good laughs.

As you may well predict, one of those unspoken lovey dovey relationships starts to build. One that can't work because Sam is emotionless and Poppy is engaged. The difference with this one is that it climaxes over text messages. How modern eh?

I will not ruin the ending, but, will only say there are a few twists that make it interesting. 

I really enjoyed the use of text messages in this book - Short. Right to the point. Smiley Face :) conversations gave the book a unique feeling. Near the end of the book the phone needed to be wiped clean, and the tech guys managed to print up all the messages that were sent. When a novel sized stack of paper showing all of the messages Poppy and Sam exchanged it was as if their own personal love story were made into a paperback. Neat idea...and in a satirical way, showed the extreme overuse of text messaging by heavy users.

I listened to the audiobook of this and was very happy with the reader - Jayne Entwistle. Her voice matched the character of Poppy perfectly. Her voice was very chipper and you could just see her reading into a microphone with a great big smile plastered across her face. I was surprised to find out she was Canadian (or at least lived in Canada for a good chunk of her life) because, she narrated the book with a heavy British accent.

RATING: READ

WORLD WAR Z

WORLD WAR Z

An Oral History of the Zombie War

- Max Brooks -

Now I get the whole zombie craze. Now I get the questions posted in forums and on facebook status updates asking how you'd fight off a zombie? Or your preferred weapon to decap a zombie? You know the questions I'm referring to?

Part end of the world story and part zombie horror flick, this book is hard to label. It is structured like a historical textbook, looking back at WWZ or the world war against the zombies. There are facts and timelines, but mostly interviews with survivors. It was so well done I almost felt like I was reading (or in my case listening to) a true, researched, fact checked, non-fiction. Maybe even as additional reading for a history 408 class at a local college, or something. It was so good it gave me the creeps...and a slightly restless night.

What made me think it was real was the beginning. The zombies start appearing like a sickness or plague. Nobody seems to take it that seriously. Which makes sense. What government or news media is going to take stories of the undead walking around infecting people in rural China seriously? But, then when they finally do, it's too late. The plague spreads too fast to control and before you know it there are cases around the entire world.

Through the interviews we get an idea of how different places dealt with the zombies, how zombies behaved, how they could be killed, why they moaned...you get an almost scientific look into zombies. We also get many views of how the plague spread, what the world was like when it peaked, and how the survivors banned together to eventually win the war against them.

If you enjoy apocalypse books like The Postman or The Road you'll like this one. There was gruesome accounts of zombies eating guts and sick stuff like that, but, mostly the writing was about how the world changed and how the survivors were dealing with this new world.

I listened to the audiobook and have to say I think it could be better than the written one. Since the set up of the book is mostly interviews the audiobook has different voices for the different characters. That bumped it up a notch making it feel genuine and real. It felt like I was listening to the audio of a documentary.

Before hearing this book I had no knowledge of zombies, other than they make a good halloween costume, but now I feel educated. Yes, educated. One should know a bit about zombies...just in case.

Rating: READ