COOKING DIRTY

COOKING DIRTY

A story of life, sex, love and death in the kitchen

- Jason Sheehan -

Thank goodness Sheehan acknowledged his writing is very similar to Anthony Bourdain (whom I've read a lot of), because at first it comes off like he is just riding the coattails of Bourdain and doing a little copy cat plagiarism type stuff. But, as you read through this book Sheehan's narrative and writing style soon become strikingly different. I can't help but compare this book to Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential. They are both brash, cuss filled, memoirs of kitchen life that highlight the worst possible things that happen behind the scenes of a restaurant. Similar topics include disgusting food handling, drug/alcohol addiction, workplace violence, harsh work conditions, injuries, and just the terrible lifestyle choices that seem to be common place in every kitchen. Even though the topics are almost identical Sheehan's writing is much more personal. He gives us a glimpse into his soul; raw emotions, motivations, passions, and vivid descriptions of his deepest thoughts. He clearly articulated his highest ups and his lowest lows, which I found extremely interesting. His lifestyle, and it appears the lifestyle of almost all cooks, is so far removed from my 9-5 suburban family man life that it is hard to imagine, yet, intriguing to read about. Sheehan explains it all in such a fun and insightful way. Sometimes he is sarcastic and pokes fun at the crazy life he lived, and sometimes he is serious and lays out some heavy stuff. Both styles made me want to keep reading.

Sheehan takes us from the beginning where he stumbled into a dishwasher job, worked his way through the ranks, failed time and time again, then finally burnt out and moved onto food writing. He lets us in the backdoor the restaurant and shows us the strange world that few know about. He writes about the pirate mentality of the kitchen, the comparisons to war and the battlegrounds, the machoism, and the insular world of restaurant workers. He brings up the paradox of how when he was cooking he was so passionate and alive, yet at the same time despised the toll it was taking on his life. Once you get caught up in the work there is no other life outside the kitchen. I found it a bit surprising, and sad, that for a decade or more Sheehan seemed to have only dysfunctional relationships with everything and everyone (his job, his girlfriends, his family) due to the demands and lifestyle of a cook.

Finishing up this book I'm left with a greater insight (and respect) for those who work the grills and fryers of every restaurant. How it does take a different sort of character to work the odd hours and every holiday that most of us take for granted. It also leaves me with a guilty feeling that I do not want my children going into the 'food services' industry and be caught up in the strange (and very unhealthy) lifestyle that seems to go along with it. However, I would encourage them to read about it and would even buy them this book.

RATING: READ*

*Must read non-fiction book and Read before you die rating as well. In other words, I really really liked this book and you should too!

LORDS AND LADIES

LORDS AND LADIES

(Discworld #14)

- Terry Pratchett -

As per the author's note - this book builds off of a previous Discworld 'witches' book (Witches Abroad). I believe if you can pick up on the small carry over of Magrat being tentatively engaged to King Verence you have no worries about being lost, other than the usual feelings of being lost when you immerse yourself in Pratchett's Discworld.

The whole love and marriage theme continued through this novel, extending its claws into all of the witches. Nanny Ogg, no surprise (as evidenced by her four or five previous husbands). BUT, even Granny fell prey to love, even if it was just for a few brief moments. And, although it may sound like a cuddly, soft, lovey-dovey tale, it was in fact one of the crudest books to date - b/c along with marriage comes the wedding night! 

I swear, if I read another variant of the naive bride and groom's wedding night...I'll...most likely laugh. However, on top of that (forgive the pun) there are jokes about the unicorn (and the size of his horn), the long man hill, books on marital...er, martial arts, and the culturally insignificant stick and bucket dance (not to be performed in the company of the fairer sex).

Pratchett managed to tie these varied subjects (along with string theory) in with the plot of grinning elves attempting to take over the world. After reading this book you will never look at elves the same again. What's behind that constant grin anyway?

Granny and the girls, along with help from some Wizards (and the Librarian) do end up wiping the smirk off the face of the elves in a very exciting finish. Every then lives happily ever after, or so it seems.

I was actually a bit surprised by the depth of character development in this book. There was the usual one liners and non-sequitur conversations that are light and funny, but, there was also a lot of background brought up about the witches younger life. I especially found Granny's love life history, her decision to become a witch, and her true feeling about Magrat, very revealing and interesting. To me, it really gave her character a lot more depth that was missing from previous books. This character building does mean that every line is not a funny, not some cute play on words, or a pun filled paradox, like most of the other Discworld books have been. However, it did seem a bit more rewarding to read this, number 14, than many of the others before it.

My one complain is not about the writing, but, about technology. I read an ebook format which removed the footnotes from the bottom of the page and filed them away in the back. I guess the idea is that you can push on the footnote number and hyperlink your way back to the footnote. Great idea. Who wants to read the footnotes in a book anyway? Well, I do! Especially in these books! They add an extra layer of humour and sometimes it is the funniest thing on a page! The problem - the hyperlinking doodad did not work on my reader, therefore, I couldn't conveniently read any of the footnotes (until I was finished the book if you want to be technical). On top of that, the battery ran out, it froze, the screen had a layer of jam on it from my kid's sticky fingers playing with 'Daddy's Toy' which they know not to touch, and the formatting of the breaks made reading conversations hard...and this is the future of books? I love technology.

RATING : READ

THE ANDROID'S DREAM

THE ANDROID'S DREAM

- John Scalzi -

I had been meaning to read Scalzi for awhile now. From all of the praise I had heard about him I thought his writing style would be an ideal match for my reading, er, style. And, it turned out to be about 5/8 on. I did enjoy some of the tounge-in-cheek comments sprinkled throughout the book. I liked the satirical takes on politics. I liked the futuristic ideas he made up. I ended up liking the serious action scenes.

Oh so many things on the 'like' side.

Any check marks on the 'dislike' side. Yes. The actual story.

I ended up filing this one away under my 'did not meet expectations' folder. I found the story a bit too confusing, mostly b/c there were a lot of similar characters. We had some FBI, we had some Dept of Defense, we had some White House folk...essentially they all played the same role (face of Earth's government) and they all had generic names like Phillip or Robert. I could not keep them straight.

I do have to say that Scalzi did a pretty good job at 'world building', creating a whole universe of alien creatures and a new kind of planetary UN system. That was the highlight of the book for me.
The humour was there but, for me, was lacking. When it did come up it was a lot of tongue-in-cheek type stuff that was...subtle...weak...not all that funny. For eg. the plot revolves around a race of aliens that can communicate by scent. They become offended by one character who has a fart machine installed into his body which lets out gas that conveys insulting messages to these aliens. Haha, a smart body function joke. Then we have a scene in a mall where bodies are smashing through windows with, wait for it, signs that super Nike shoes are 33% off. Again, funny and subtle.

However, for most of the book I just felt lost. I could not follow the characters, I wasn't laughing (that much or that hard), and the overall plot did not interest me. I would say, it is a smart sci-fi book with a dive into DNA and artificial intelligence, but, was overall a lackluster novel for me.

Perhaps, if I try Scalzi again, I will go with his much hyped (and award winning) Old Man's War, instead of just randomly grabbing any of his titles off the library rack.



RATING : DO NOT READ

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

- EL James -

I started this book for the sole purpose of being able to chat about it around the water cooler. About a year ago it seemed that everyone was reading this book, and being a self proclaimed 'bookworm' it was almost a requirement to be up to date on the most popular book in a generation. So, I started it June 12th, 2012...it has taken me almost a year (and 50 odd books later) to finish it. That should speak (metaphorical) volumes about the writing. I'm still left wondering why millions of people read THIS book?

To help you out, I will outline all of the important points of the book...so, you do not have to read it, but, can still be part of the conversation if it were ever to come up again.

1) A bright budding College grad, named Anastasia, has a chance encounter with hard nose business guru Christian Grey. She ends up giving him what nobody else seems to be able to give him - a challenge, a fight, some backtalk...this interests him.

2) He pursues her on the sly. It seems an unlikely thing as he is a man-of-the-moment business celebrity and she is a volkswagen drivin', converse shoe wearin', college girl.

3) Against the odds they 'hook up'...and it's mindblowing...and graphic!

4) They continue the mindblowing 'stuff' and it turns kinky...here is where the GREY TIE comes in. It's silk. He ties her hands to a bedpost.

5) Christian then shows her his 'playroom' which has all sorts of whips, chains, and torturous sounding things...against all logic Anastasia stays.

6) Now comes the CONTRACT. Yes, there is a contract written up on exactly what Anastasia is expected to do. Mirroring Christian Grey's personality, it is very controlling, right down to what she can eat, how much she is to sleep...again, against all common sense Anastasia signs.

7) Kinky things happen; whips, spankings...I guess a look into the world of S&M (sic, not sure of the exact term?)

8) There is a lot of repetition, not to be too graphic, but, yes on that front, and on the 'relationship' part. The typical, "does he love me or does he love me not?" is in endless cycle here.

9) Finally at the end Anastasia gives up trying to live this extreme life and comes to the conclusion that Grey is beyond help.

There's a quick outline of the book. If you find yourself in a conversation about this book just remember to blurt out the key words - "contract", "grey tie", or "playroom" and I have no doubts that someone will take that topic and run with it. 

I found at many points throughout the book the writing was very bland and mediocre; both the prose and the actual plot. Which is what left me wondering what the buzz was all about? Really, the only thing that made this book different than a cheap paperback romance was the graphic sex scenes. The characters did not seem all that believable, with the exception of Mr. Grey - he was a well written character who did come across as truly controlling and messed up to the nines.

If you never get around to reading this book don't worry about it, you are not missing too much.

RATING: DO NOT READ

THE RACKETEER

THE RACKETEER

- John Grisham -

This was another Grisham book handed down to me by my in-laws. Yes, they like Grisham...and I do too! Which is a bonus for me since I never have to buy a Grisham book, or take a smelly old one out of the library, and I always have the newest one sitting on my shelf. So, thank you in-laws.

I'm going to start from the end of this book, since The Racketeer ends on such a high note. The entire novel comes together in the last fifty pages and that last chunk of the book you are speed reading and thinking over and over again, 'aaah, I should have guessed this would happen'. Of course, I am not going to tell you exactly what happens, but, I will say Grisham does a spectacular job of sending the reader down one road only to be veered of course to another, and finally ending up on yet another road. If you follow my directions, the story takes three turns - three unexpected turns...at least I didn't see them coming.

It starts off with a southern lawyer complaining about the prison system. Typical Grisham novel so far. This lawyer, however, is the one in prison (innocent, or so he says). He claims to have some information on a high profile murder of a Judge and will give it up if he is given a get out of jail free card. Once out of prison the plot thickens; his story changes, another murderer is found, he goes into hiding from the FBI, there is a treasure trove of millions of dollars on the line...it gets a bit complex at one point, but, by the end the entire story makes sense. You almost want to read it again, just to see how many hidden hints are given along the way.

It kind of reminded me of The Runaway Jury, when you find out at the end the extreme lenghts they went to get someone on the jury to take down the gun industry. The Racketeer is like that. Starts out simple. It appears this lawyer just wants to get out of jail. Not, get out of jail, get others out of jail, 'steal' millions of dollars, trick the FBI, save the planet, cure cancer...you get the idea that I'm trying to say the story gets big.

Overall, highly enjoyable read. If you've like other Grisham books, you'll like this one too.

RATING: READ

*My only complaint is that I read the hardcover edition. Not only is it big, bulky, and awkward, when you take the dust cover off the book is a bland grey...and easily stains when you spill tea on it. But, really can you complain about free?

If you liked this review, or Grisham books in general, I've read a couple in the last year or so, see my wonderful reviews:
1) Skipping Christmas
2) The Confession

SMALL GODS

SMALL GODS

(Discworld #13)

- Terry Pratchett -

Another wonderful Discworld novel. One of the many Pratchett books that is full of funny from front to back. Terry's writing is bang on with Small Gods; endless one liners, hard hitting (hence, hilarious) satire, and a cast of comedic characters...'onna stick' anyone?

As with other Discworld novels, it's not the actual plot that makes this a book you want to tell your friends about (provided they have a similar sense of humour, mind you), it's the rest. The actual plot involves Brutha having his religion challenged by a small God named Om. Om is a tortoise with one follower -  Brutha. But, the journey (a very mocking journey) through a strict religious order, over the desert, around some philosophers, and back is (as it sounds) very entertaining. It's one of those situation where you take a step back, remove yourself emotionally, and take out that 'critical-eye' magnifying glass you ordered on amazon...and laugh at the absurd way religion, philosophy, and democracy run themselves...add in the 'onna stick' street vendor and you've got some good laughs.

Call your Gods and tell them to tell their followers to read this book.

RATING : READ

HIGH LONESOME

HIGH LONESOME

- Louis L'Amour -

In all of the previous L'Amour books I have read the protagonist is always a straight shootin', law abiding, good-right-down-to-the-last-corner-of-their-heart, hardworking cowboy. This book has an outlaw as the main character. You'd think, quite a change?

No.

As it turns out, in the end this outlaw was just as good hearted as the others. A point that Louis points out various times through the book. It's just the way of the Western Man...you gotta love it.

As I mentioned above we have a bank robber. Him and a posse of similar criminals plan to rob a bank that has never been robbed before. The untouchable bank. One located in a town where their civic pride is that their bank has never been robbed. The entire population's second job is to keep watch over this bank...ok, maybe not that far, but, you get the point. This is an impossible mission.

However, there is one weakness: the Sheriff. Him and this bank robber, Considine, were once friends but are now on either side of the law...and they both fought over the same woman. Considine uses this to his advantage. He rides into town, picks a fist fight with the Sheriff and draws a crowd, thereby distracting everyone from the bank, which can now be robbed.

The plan works and the outlaws get away. Then comes the travel through the desert, which I think is L'Amour specialty, where upon they come across some tracks. Turns out there is a young lady and her Father being followed by Apache.

What are the outlaws to do?

Keep running from the law or risk death and capture by staying to help these semi-strangers.

Any decent Western Man would stay.

The ending in this one is great, full of action and suspense...and a bit of a surprise. Definitely ended on a high note. Almost makes you sad when you turn that last page.

RATING : READ

BRAIN RULES FOR BABIES

BRAIN RULES FOR BABIES

How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five

- John Medina -

Just one of the numerous parenting books I've read - first since having our third. So, I consider myself an old hat at the parenting book game. I found this one refreshing and different, yet not overly original on the parenting front.

What makes this book different from the wall of parenting books at the library? This book takes an indepth scientific look at the brain. Medina is a brain scientist guy (neuroscientist?), so it makes sense.

This book delves deep into the nitty-gritty details of how baby brains are made; neurons, systosebisistis (or some similar scientific word)...how all the grey matter connects, how long it actually takes, and what we can do to make things work better. Medina does a great job of taking these very complex topics and putting them into understandable, 'layman's terms'. He throws in some relevant personal anecdotes and research findings (peer reviewed and trustworthy research only).

Medina attempted to give a few guiding principles on how to raise a happy and smart child based on the science he knows about brain growth. However, it felt like one of those books that works well in theory, but, might not prove so well in the real world. The guidance was rather generic and broad, taking into account the wide variety of brains (and personalities) we all have. If you are looking for a specific plan this is not your book.

To sum up his theory - you need to give your baby a stressfree and stable environment, while treating them with empathy...something you've probably run across in other books. The only difference is that this book backs up this theory with hard scientific facts on brain behaviour.

For a parenting book it is very readable and very interesting. I would recommend it. Especially if you only plan on reading a handful of books.

RATING : READ

THE EMPTY LAND

THE EMPTY LAND

- Louis L'Amour -

A boom town springs up in the middle the wild west desert, full to bursting with miners, law abiding traders, and also the outlaws that smell the chance to make a quick buck. The opportunity to create a prosperous settlement is threatened by a gang of drifting thugs who do not think twice about using violence to get their way - killing a couple of Marshalls in the process.

There is only one man who can take them on - Matt Colburn. A good hearted, 'street' smart man with a lightning fast draw. The only concern is that he doesn't think twice about shooting to get his way either.

Is he no better than a murderer himself?

I had the feeling L'Amour was posing this tough question to the reader. It would make for a good debate seeing as Colburn ends up using some questionable methods to rid the town of these outlaws, including; killing, fist fighting, public threats and naming/shaming, and of course the *DRAW* gun battles. But, taken into the context of a lawless community this was all fair game, and it did end up working in the end.

After reading a small pile of L'Amour books I have found this one to be the best so far. There was lots of action and cowboy things, but, more importantly there was something deeper - that ethical question of when is it, if ever, ok to kill?

RATING : READ

*I know it is hard, but, you have to get past the covers on these books. I know they are a bit cheesy, but, as the old saying goes 'never judge a book by it's cover'.

SH*T MY DAD SAYS

SH*T MY DAD SAYS

- Justin Halpern - 

A mix of laugh your a$$ off and the realization that your are not the only one in the world with a strange family. There is so much in this book to laugh at and so much to relate to. I'm sure we've all had those moments where we question what our parents say then laugh till you cry with siblings when retelling it later. Halpern has a great way of sharing his moments like this with us through short stories and straight up quotes. I think it also helps that his Dad uses a lot of profane language.

The 'stuff' his Dad says ranges from almost random thoughts to just annoying jackass sayings. One of the more random quotes I found hilarious was on the topic of lying. It went something like, son do not lie. The worst thing is to be a liar, well actually being a Nazi is worse. So, first being a Nazi, but, then being a liar.

I also laughed so hard at the scene where Halpern's Dad makes a jackass out of himself. It starts off at baseball practice when some kid comes up to Halpern and says, 'my Dad says your Dad is an a*****'.  Halpern is just about to defend his Dad when he is hit hard in the shins by a ball. "Get your head outta your a$$ and pay attention!" The voice - his Father. The ball that hit his shin, on purpose - from his Father. Great timing Dad!

By then end of the book you are left sore from laughing and, strangely, filled with a sense of admiration for Halpern's Dad. Even though he is sometimes a hard ass who should think before he talks it's very apparent he always has the best intentions in mind and truly loves his kids.

RATING : READ

*If you liked this book you may also like : Tuesday with Morrie and Medium Raw. That is the sh*t my library website says. Which is true, I read both and like them.