WORST. PERSON. EVER.

WORST. PERSON. EVER.

- Douglas Coupland -

I first heard about this book through an interview Coupland did on CBC radio, click here to listen. He described Raymond Gunt, the protagonist of this fine novel, as the most foul mouthed person you could ever image. And, it turns out he may be right. The book's storyline, about a cameraman who travels to a remote Pacific Island to help in the taping of a Survivor style show is not the highlight. Instead the entire point of this book was to come up with a character who is the worst person ever. Coupland did a wonderful job too. Gunt was out of this world terrible, but, believable at the same time. He kind of reminded me of that distant relative you may have, the one that shows up at the extended family picnic smoking non stop (around the kids), drinking beer after beer (not his), and commenting on the lazy foreign welfare bums that live in the apartment above him (or some similar inappropriate topic). But, the comment in the interview that really piqued my interest was when Coupland admitted that he sincerely hoped his parents would never read this book. Now, that says something doesn't it? What was in this book that was so terrible that the author was reluctant to throw a copy over to his parents for a once over?

Well, I can type out a quote from the first few paragraphs to give you an idea of what might be lurking in the book..."the universe delivered unto me a searing hot kebab of vasectomy leftovers drizzled in donkey jizz". Now, would that be the line Coupland didn't want his parents to read? Maybe. Or it could be the rest of the 300 odd pages littered with this crafty rubbishy language. I have to give credit to the variety and originality of the foul mouthed descriptions Coupland comes up with for the usual body parts and their functions. Not my area of expertise, but, to see someone really master it is very entertaining. And, if you are worried about being turned off by the language, well once you hit the F word and C word and D word for the twentieth time it loses a bit of its shock value and you find yourself desensitized (scary, how quickly that can happen) and enjoying the latest crude word mash-up.

Similar to the language Gunt spews out, his actions are just as socially unacceptable. He is a self centred, sex crazed, lazy, rude, obnoxious wad, who hates children (probably kittens too) and picks on the homeless. He is one of those people who provides no good in the world and only takes, takes, ruins, destroys, eats the last chocolate, belches, and takes some more. There is not much to like in this guy. Which in a strange way makes him likeable. Reading reviews on this book I noticed over and over that people felt pity for this character, and in turn 'liked' him. I did not like his personality, but, I did like his character. I found it very entertaining to watch this train wreck of a personality crash its way through the novel. It was fun watching his almost formulaic life - Gunt enters a new scenarios, he finds someway to offend, eats macadamia nuts and has a black out. You just know, that with each scene, Gunt is going to come up with some terrible way to offend the world, be it with his foul mouth or by discussing bestiality. His only redeeming quality was his harsh, well deserved, criticism of American food. 

A bit embarrassing on my part that I find this entertaining, but, I prefer to look at it this way - as a literary work. Coupland does an amazing job of satirizing the pop cultural exploits of shows like Springer and Survivor (at the same time!). So, if anyone asks, I don't actually laugh at the trailer trash level comedy, I laugh at the satire.

I was lucky to have heard the interview with Coupland and have some idea of what I was getting into when I started this book. Judging by the reviews I have looked over, there were a lot of readers out there not expecting something so filthy. A lot of witty reviews called the book 'Worst. Book. Ever.' or something similar. I will agree with some of the negative reviewers that when I finished the book I was not a better person, unless you count the increased vocabulary in the cuss words dept. However, I did not feel it was a waste of time. It was not exactly time well spent. It was more like, time spent and I don't regret it. There Coupland, put that quote on the dust cover of your book. This was definitely something I have never read before, and would probably not go out of my way to find again, but, it was an adventure for sure. It is always nice to get out of your comfort zone sometimes and see how the other half lives (and swears). Worst. Person. Ever. is one of those unforgettable books you'll have a hard time describing...and forgetting.

RATING : READ

NOT QUITE THE CLASSICS

NOT QUITE THE CLASSICS

- Colin Mochrie -

This book is built on an the Classic improve game, the first and last line. In this quasi-version of the game Mochrie takes the first few lines from well known Classic books then writes a short story in between, and finally ends with the last few lines of that Classic book.

If you are at all familiar with who Colin Mochrie is you won't be surprised to hear that the stories are funny, quirky, and sometimes just plain weird. Mochrie is that joking Canadian who stars on Who's Line is it Anyways? (and is also a part of the This Hour Has 22 Minutes - The Classic Canadian political satire show anyone?), so he has the chops to make people laugh...but, you ask, does his humour translate well onto the written page?

For the most part, yes. And, to my surprise his overall writing skills are extraordinary. I was happily surprised at the high quality of the writing. It was so good it almost fools one into believing the absurd topics and storylines are the 'real' Classic writings of Doyle, Orwell, Fitzgerald, or even Seuss. I was especially impressed with Colin's ability to mimic the tone and feel of these Classics. His choice of words and phrases were bang on with the originals. Again, it was so easy to fall into the feeling that you were reading a strange story written 100 years ago by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle ...albeit, a strange story about stand up comedy, but, none-the-less believable.

The collection started with the well loved Sherlock Holmes. A great one to start the book with. It had a lively, extremely well written and entertaining storyline. It read just like one of the Classic Sherlocks, but, funny at the same time. The story centred around Holmes trying to solve a mystery. The mystery of humour. He observed people, mades assumptions, then experimented with different types of humour. Most of which sounded good in theory, but, then ended up failing. He eventually came up with the idea of 'Stand Up' and attempted a show. The whole process was both an interesting look at humour, from the comedian's side, while being witty and funny at the same time. I think the interactions between Watson and Holmes were what really brought out the laughs. They were Classic; the eccentric Holmes berating the dim witted Watson for questioning his outlandish conclusions. This was the kind of story that made me want to read more.

Then came the make over of Moby Dick - Moby Toupee. This one almost sank the boat for me. It did not put the wind in my sails as much as some of the other stories did. It was a funny idea: a toupee changes an actors life. Toupees are funny things. But, the story just did not catch my interest.

Luckily, a short while later the splicing of A Tale of Two Cities brought me back aboard. This was another highlight for me. The first line, 'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.' It ended up being an account of Wile E Coyote's obsession with Road Runner. It took an interesting view, through Wile E's life, attempting to be a human but giving into his animal desires to hunt and eat Road Runners. He has some early highs (the best of times), then becomes obsessed with catching RR and his life quickly goes downhill (the worst of times)...where a big rock rolls down on top of it, then it is hit with an anvil marked 50 tons. We eventually end with Mr. Coyote in jail. It was again, extremely well written, and had a great mix of Classic anvil dropping humour and that sharp satire comparing his Road Runner obsession with, say, a drug addiction. He loses his job, family, even his mind in the struggle to catch the ever slippery Road Runner. The end is a bit disturbing in a dark humour sort of way. So, if you have a weak heart (or stomach for that matter) for the Road Runner, I suggest you do not read the last few pages.

Another story that made my highlight reel was the Frankenstein spoof. It involved a chicken who learned to read. It was not the story that brought the most smiles and giggles, but, it captured my imagination for awhile. The story of the chicken and the farmer mirrored one another, they started out lonely, then found mates, then things went terribly wrong. The hen dies and the chicken tries to resurrect her. This story also ends badly...I guess that makes sense, all the Classics seem to end in death.

I went into this book thinking it was going to be a work of low grade nonsensical writing, with a few easy Moby Dick jokes (which I will assure you there were none of). But, it was not. It was the exact opposite. It was an extremely well written collection of short stories that were funny on so many levels, from the spot on impersonation of the Classic writer's style to the farcical/bizarre tales Mochrie brought to life. The only thing missing was a talking pickle.

RATING : READ

To hear an interview with Colin talking about this book, he was on CBC's The Next Chapter - CLICK HERE

I used the word classic 11 times in that review - new record!

LIVE AND LET DIE

LIVE AND LET DIE

James Bond #2

- Ian Fleming -

This is more along the lines of what I thought the Bond books would be like. There was an insane football-headed villain, some poisonous fish and shark attacks, an unbelievable plot centered around a long lost pirate treasure of gold coins. All we were missing was a car equipped with a hidden gold detecting radar system.
However, my expectations of Bond were disappointed again. He was no superhero. He barely survived this adventure and he almost ruined the whole operation. He was also constantly getting caught by the bad guy, who did the whole Dr. Evil villain thing and revealed the outlandish way he was going to kill Bond. This time he was going to drag him behind a boat across some coral reefs and let the sharks eat him piece by piece.
I guess I was expecting  the death count to be 32 for Bond, 2 for Evil guy...but, Bond never even got a shot off before he was caught. Also, he fell for this episode's 'Bond Girl' again and let his feelings ruin his judgement. Bond is a very troubled character.
But, as it turns out, that is a good thing. His flaws, mixed with some fast action, and an extravagant plot make reading Bond books enjoyable. You never know what is going to happen.

RATING : READ

BOSSYPANTS

BOSSYPANTS

- Tina Fey -

Months and months ago we borrowed a couple of humourous books from a friend of ours: 1) Sh*t my Dad Says (to save typing I will call this book Sh*t through the rest of the review) & 2) Bossypants.

1) Sh*t ... was read right away to rave reviews. Both my wife and I laughed and laughed, reading passages out loud to one another, and we still paraphrase it from time to time. Grade A+ on LOLs and ranked as one of the funniest books read in 2013!

2) Bossypant had another adventure, mostly sitting on the bookshelf looking pretty. Until last month, when I finally got around to cracking it open.

Now, being borrowed at the same time my little brain has filed these books under the same heading - humour book borrowed from X. Therefore, while reading Bossypants I was constantly comparing it to Sh*t... , even though they are vastly different books in style and content. That is just how my brain works I guess, rightly or wrongly.

Onto Bossypants. This book was a very well written humour book, not as packed with laughs as Sh*t but still laughtastic. An account of Tina Fey's raise to stardom...er, class B celebrity status, whatever. Pages and paragraphs, chapters and lists, of lighthearted and intelligent joke filled prose. What the book lacked in substance it made up for in tidbits of quirky jokes and play on words.

The actual story of Tina Fey's career is, um, not action packed. No suspense, no rags to riches story. Not even a lot of struggle. I have to give credit to Tina here for taking the road less travelled, by releasing a book that does not rely on crude humour or attack humour (ie name calling of easy targets like Rachel Ray). Finally, a funny book on the bookshelf that does not deal with drugs or one night stands. She even threw in a serious theme for good measure - feminism. Constantly reinforcing that women can do anything, even get into the male dominated world of comedy.

I really enjoyed the way Tina managed to get her feminist agenda into the book. It wasn't overly aggressive, just mixed in subtly in a very feminine way. Like Mama would flavour a nice soup. There were even refreshingly truthful passages about how life on the 'top' is not all that great and even while you may look successful, balancing life, work, and children does not always happen.

Overall, it was a good read - positive & funny...even with that feminist ranting going on in the background

RATING : READ