Eastern Passage

EASTERN PASSAGE

- Farley Mowat -

I've read almost all of Farley Mowat's books...and he is always atop my list of favourite authors (he varies from first to third). I have a strange connection to his books, his life, even his view of the world. Like him I started life in Ontario then moved onto Saskatchewan and eventually returned. We have that Quinte Bay (Trenton & Belleville) connection. We have a similar interest in nature...and now Eastern passage has cemented this connection even further. I will elaborate: My dream job - writer. What I've been reading lately (and fantasizing about) - a magazine about living off the land, living off the grid, 'homesteading'. Strangely enough, this book starts out with those two things. It's FM's account of the beginning of his writing career, and as it turns out his homesteading experience...at the same time!

This book is just full of surprises. After his return from WWII, Farley meets up with France and gets married. This is a surprise to me since I've never heard of this lady. I didn't even know he was married? Anyway, FM can't stand the city (Toronto at the time) and manages to buy 10 acres from a friend for $50 or $500, don't quote me but it was cheap. The land in way out in the country, lot 4b on cty ln 10 off RR#30 just past the old burned out yurt...you get the idea? There is barely a road, there is no house, there is no electricity, not even cell phone coverage. Farley takes the spring and summer to put up what sounds like a solid log house. Made with his own hands, a shovel, and a jeep. The next year he takes on the land, which sounds like it was pretty worn out from previous logging and farming. He starts a giant garden, gets a few chickens, and starts reforesting the land. During these first couple of years he writes his first book - The People of the Deer - and sells a few magazine articles. His breakout success with this book brings more confidence and more ideas, pretty soon he has a few books on the go. One of these book ideas, eventually leading to And No Birds Sang, takes him and his wife on a European Vacation. Not the fun Griswold type (we're pigs), but, to reconnect with the battlegrounds and experiences he had during his war years. Then, to my surprise he starts a family?! Another shocker! I never knew he had kids? But, a little boy is born a year or so after the Europe trip. Then Farley promptly takes a voyage on a boat down the St.Lawrence river out to Nova Scotia, where the story suddenly ends. There is some foreshadowing that implies the trip was a bad idea and it would probably ruined his fragile marriage and new family life.

The book was laid out in an interesting way. Farley tells his writing story mostly through letters he had with his editor and his agent. Now, I know writers can be a bit strange and unconventional, but, Farley has to take the cake on this one. In most of his letters to his editor he writes very unprofessionally. He dismisses most of the changes his editor suggest (even if predicted to sell more books), which is normal I suppose. But, then mentions how he could write more if he wasn't always spending his time on that garden. How if he was just sent an advance, even $500, he wouldn't worry about him and his wife starving this winter. Or, he pushes that he should come meet with the editor, if of course they would kindly pay for travel food hotel. Then there are letters that he chats about the weather or some other topic that has nothing to do with writing. He rambles, he swears, he rants, he criticizes the government...in letters to his editor.

There seemed, to me at least, to be a theme running through the book - independence. Mowat shares stories about his homesteading, stressing how his eventual goal was to be self-sufficient. Then there is the a big section about a trip he takes to visit some old army friends who live in the northern part of Hastings county. These people were not part of mainstream society. They were living off the land; fishing and hunting. Farely's stories brought out the best in these rough outliers lives and I felt his tone bordered envy. Then there was his boat trip. What can be more blatantly isolating than being secluded on a boat in the middle of a large body of water...that's one way to get away, especially if there is a strong current pushing you. It was pretty clear by the end of the book that Farley was trying to get away from something at this part of his life. What? I'm not sure, but, that's what good writers do, leave you hanging...and/or encourage you to buy the next book! Or, leave you thinking? Was he running from his war memories? his wife? responsibility? growing up?

RATING: READ

As a post script/side note: I find it really weird when you are reading and obscure things pop up in multiple books. For eg. in Eastern Passage Farley rants about Jerusalem artichokes. Kind of an obscure thing to mention. Strangely enough, Jaime Oliver praises these things multiple times in The Return of the Naked chef. Weird, weird, weird. I have never heard of this 'vegetable' in my life, now all of the sudden they are in every other book I read!?

What even makes this even funnier is the passionate contrasting views on these artichokes. Mowat complains about how they are like weeds, they never die and just keep reproducing. He rages that they are almost inedible, look like a 'turd' and are probably just as nutritious!

Oliver, on the other hand, promotes these things as nutritious, delicious, elegant looking food that is underused.

Now, isn't that strange? Almost a Monty python moment - now for something completely different.

Kitchen Confidential

KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL

- Anthony Bourdain -

Wow, is this book saucy! By that, I don't mean the one description of a great sounding chicken wing sauce, I mean the vulgar language, insults, rants, profanity, sexuality, blood, gore, drugs, dead pigs, rotten fish...you get the idea. Nobody under the age of say, 21, should be reading this, IMO.

Bordain uses his words like a chef uses his knife, to cut through all the bullsh** glamorized ideas that the food network cooking shows have given us (his insults on Emril & Rachel Ray are frequent and slightly funny). The world of the cook is not fun, easy, and thirty minutes...it's 18 hours, smelly, hot, sweaty, and well, working class! The book takes us into the culinary underbelly (as described by the cover of the book), and it kind of a frightening journey to tell you the truth.

In the preface, Bourdain states he only wrote this book for those in the industry, and truthfully thought nobody other than a handful of unemployed chefs/cooks with time to waste would read it...apparently it turned into a best seller? I can vouch for that; I would even buy it! Me, the guy who got mad over 70 cents worth of overdue library fines...it is that good.

This quasi-autobiography starts with a young Anthony travelling through France. He was a bratty kid, only eating hamburgers and french fries, shunning anything French. He was always a rebellious kid, which is what starts his food journey. It begins when the fam takes a day trip on an oyster fishing boat. Fresh oysters were offered up by the pirate like captain and nobody wanted to eat them (too weird, too slimy, etc). Anthony finally steps up and eats one, being the rebel of course. He loved it. From that point on he pushed the limits on all food, eating the strangest frenchest things on the menu.

Years later, on a summer break from college, he reluctantly takes a dishwashing job. It was that, or be evicted by his roommates. The restaurant he worked for was filled with crooked, drugged up, crude talking guys. Terrible sounding to me, but, paradise for Anthony.

It is incredible the outrageous stuff that went on in that kitchen was considered ok, even normal. There were lots of drugs, inter-employee 'relationships' (in the dry goods room!), bad food handling, gambling, stealing, just arrogant crass behaviour! And, the competitive atmosphere within the restaurant and with other restaurants down the street was mind boggling. The psychological assaults the cooks played on one other left me surprised that there were not any knife wielding incidents. The scary part - I think Bourdain toned down the stories. Your typical story teller enhances tales (ie makes stuff up). I think Anthony left much of the worst of it out. So, even as shocking as some of these stories are, I think there are worse ones left out.

The book is divided up like a fine meal. There is the autobiographical story of Anthony's career which makes up the entree - the real meat of the story. I say meat because any chef regards vegetarians as the bane of their existence, or at least Anthony does. There is also a side dish of stories about eccentric people Tony has worked with or worked for. This includes many junkies, megalomaniacs, and even the mafia. There are also small tidbits, appetizers and desserts, intermixed in the book. Mostly they are about how a restaurant actually works. You might get the impression these parts would have a textbook feel? Really, how interesting is it to describe what a porter does or how to order stock. But, instead of dry terminology and definitions Anthony gives us some tasteless examples of the criminal behaviour that he expects from porters (such as stealing food and booze). Some of the most effective parts of the book are these small dishes, effective in that they make you want to vomit. Like, why not to eat seafood on Monday. Or, why Sunday brunch should be called something like, 'stuff that should be going out in the trash but let's make a seafood fritatta out of it to save money'.

What I found this book did was bring me right into the noisy, hot, cuss filled kitchen and realize how much I've taken for granted being that diner who comes in for a relaxing meal on a Saturday night. But, other than make me feel guilty, Bourdain also does a great job of making the book relevant to anyone working in a cruddy job. Just like other jobs most of the time is spent in the drudgery of repetition ('the same dish 150 times a day' can easily be compared to 'the same data input into the computer 150 times a day'). Also the camaraderie of being on the same team, taking on the ever present enemy, be it the customer or the boss! The high point of this industry seems to be the personal satisfaction that comes with making a great dish (or 150 of them in a night). Anthony repeats many times that he often left work feeling satisfied deep down.

I do have to warn you, other than the three thousand foul words found in the book, that this is one of those books you are going to be quoting (hence, annoying others) for years to come. Most likely anytime you go out to eat you'll want to share some of your new found knowledge on the workings of the kitchen. Or, at least what NOT to order! Oh, and you'll probably never let anyone send anything back again, unless you like eating spit...or completely ruining the rest of the night for a few lowly cooks.

Overall, this was a book I didn't want to put down. It was a book I wished would go on forever. One of the best books I've read in years! I found the stories and writing just...entertaining on many different levels. The actual words Bourdain uses are all over the place, for eg. where is the last time you saw 'underbelly' used in a sentence? It's funny, which I like. It is also full of 'stuff' (words, phrases, life experiences) that I have never run across or for that matter ever hope to. This out of the ordinary 'stuff' is fascinating. Anthony's personal story, from lazy ass druggie to master chef, is so full of ups and downs you really never know what is going to happen next. So, get crakin'...readin'

RATING: READ

P.S. What made me first pick up this book was Anthony's shameless promotion of it on his great travel/food show No Reservations. Funny though, the jokes on Anthony - he promoted his book, which I got free from the library, from his show, which I also got free from the library...oh boy, I'm quite the cheapskate!

The Nake Chef Takes Off

THE NAKED CHEF TAKES OFF

- Jamie Oliver -

Never thought I'd do a write up about a cook book. First off, I'm not what you'd call a cook or a wannabe cook or even an occasional dabbler in the culinary arts. No, I microwave tea ('nuff said). So, to now be praising a book on cooking seems very odd. But, this is no ordinary book full of recipes and detailed instructions on bake times and temps. No, it's a bird, it's a plane, ...it's Jaime Oliver!

Jamie's charismatic personality and passion for food is palatable in this book. Even though there is very little writing it felt like every word made an impact. The short & sweet stories describing dishes are filled with the right mix of humour, british slang, and Jamie's own strong opinions (pushing organics, quality food, and that obvious disgust for over processed food)

Even though I am no cook, this book makes me want to run out and buy some 'simple' ingredients (or better yet, just grow some on the windowsill), throw them in a pot, cook for an hour and wow my friends and family. Jamie makes it sound so simple! I'm seriously thinking this book could/should be filed under 'motivational' books in some library somewhere.

I think the writing style of the book makes it a good read for all cooking levels. The 'cooking instructions' are so vague that it sounds easy for non-cookers (like me), and so open ended for for advanced cookers to get creative. For eg, there is a page or two on salad dressings. The small story before this section talks about how Jamie just throws all his ingredients in a jam jar (I think it is supposed to be funny, using a jam jar. Maybe in Europe?) and shakes it up - simple and vague. The next page is just a list of ingredients...so simple! This format makes the 'cookbook' so much different than any other cookbook I've glanced through. I'm not scared off by the technical writing stressing times and temperatures.

One of my favourite parts of the book was a rant/prediction by Jamie. He talks about a typical trip to the grocery store. How stores are 'getting better' at stocking organic foods, and he predicts by 2005 that 90% of produce will be organic. He goes on describing a young hip couple who are buying organic arugula and having an argument over what herbs to buy. While there is a nasty mother who has her cart full of Coke, crisps (potato chips for us North Americans), and over processed food (turkey twizzlers and such).

The opening is quite interesting as well. Dedicated 'To my missus, SORRY'.

I would like to think this is a joke, that Jules (Jaime's wife) does not like to be called his 'missus'. So, the book is dedicated to her, but, he does it in a way that he needs to apologize. Could be funny, in an inside joke kind of way?

I like to look on the darker side, like Darth. I have a theory that it is misspelled missus to imply 'miss us', as in Jamie is sorry he is on another one of his projects and is putting all his time, energy, and passion into it. Leaving poor Jules at home, alone. Not to mention he insults her mother's way of boiling spinach into a grey mush. OR, for that matter, he jokes about Jules overboiling vegetables and then having to mush them all together to make a wonderful 'vegetable mash'. But, that is just my take.

Overall, this is a book you just have to treat like a meal; sit down, get comfortable, and TUCK IN!

Tuck in - a phrase used a dozen times throughout the book. At one point it felt like it was the ending of every dish description.

RATING: READ*

*If you don't feel like reading this book for some reason, you can always watch Jamie's show "Oliver's Twist". It is him at home cooking up a bunch of the same recipes found in this book. He doesn't say 'tuck in' as much, but he does use other funny british slang.

All New Square Foot Gardening

ALL NEW SQUARE FOOT GARDENING

- Mel Bartholomew -

Apparently this is a sequel!? For those of you that didn't know, there was not only a previous book, but a PBS series as well! How did I miss all that?

This book was a birthday present I received a couple of years ago and I'm finally getting around to reading the entire thing. It's one of those books I've look over a few times. Took a peek at the pictures and read a few of the 'tips'. Now, I've taken the leap and I'm in. I'm learning all about how to 'square foot garden'. What is the difference between square foot gardening and 'regular' gardening, you ask? Mostly the layout of a garden. Instead of 'wasteful' long lines of vegetables you squish them all into a grid type system that is a foot square!

From what I've read, I am essentially doing that already. My current garden out back is about four feet long by one foot wide. I have managed to fit in a good variety of different plants and managed to grow lots of vegetables over the years. The closest thing I have to a garden philosophy is what I call 'shove and cram'. Not a strict theory, but, what I have done is to never followed the recommended spacing of plants found on the back of seed packages. Out of necessity, I have to organize my garden in the most 'efficient' way...and ignore the 'rules'.

Mel's square foot theory sounds a lot like mine, only more technical and 'proven'. He has experimented and found that you can throw out the old way of gardening, in long lines, by condensing your garden into little square plots. The traditional long, spaced out lines of plants use lots of space and fertilizer and end up causing a lot of waste, weeds, and work (hard, laborious, time consuming...he went on and on in the book). While, the little squares use soil better, are easy to keep tidy, and grow just as much stuff...using 80% less space! What a wonderful new idea.

And, Mel is not shy about reinforcing that this is a wonderful idea. He makes good use of his proof points and any stats he has come up with, using them every chance he gets. I'm guessing on average 1.25 times per page. He also makes good use of little boxes in the margins to further highlight his idea. By the end of the book I'm guessing you have been exposed to that '80% less space' stat 232 times. You may think I'm stretching the truth...and I guess I am a little, but, you get my point right?

Mel also has tips that he shares, typically in a little box with his picture in the corner and labelled "MEL SAYS". They are usually a little story or tip about something relevant to the topic on the page. There are also 'penny pincher' boxes, that share tips on saving money. Most of them say the same thing along the lines of, go to a construction site and ask for free wood. This is repeated half a dozen times in the book. The best one: (paraphrasing here) Go to a construction site and ask for the foreman. Tell him (yes, a him) that you are building a square foot garden and need some two by fours. Ask them nicely if they can cut the boards to four foot long. They probably will. Are you serious Mel?

Not to sound too obnoxious but '80% less space' could have been used to explain the entire concept. Following the environmental theme that is mentioned in the book Mel should have condensed the book into the size of a magazine...I'm sure that would have provide more than enough room and save many many trees.

I do think the idea behind this book is great and I know it works. It even makes you think outside the box, which is a bit tough in the gardening world which is apparently steeped in tradition. Being critical of proven farming methods that people have been using for centuries is a bit tough. But, Mel has convinced me.

Furthermore, the writing is upbeat and even...fun. It's a good read, especially considering it is a gardening book. Even though there is a lot of repetition, there is a lot of good information. Even if you don't end up following his method down to every last detail (as prescribed) there are many small things you can and use in your own garden. Or, at the least Mel plants the idea that gardening can be done in a different way...you let it grow from there.

RATING: READ*

*It would be wonderful to read outside on a lovely day with inspiring things around such as a composter and some free two by fours.

WORLDBINDER

WORLDBINDER

- David Farland -

I praise books for many reasons. I praise books that I can relate to, like Farley Mowat's Born Naked, since it's almost like reading my own biography. I also praise books I can see myself writing, like Robert Asprin's Myth series, with all the puns and satire. Worldbinder, is not a book I'd ever see myself writing; it's very serious and in depth. I cannot relate to this in a personal way, mostly because it takes place in a made up universe where wizards and kings rule. In fact, this book is the exact opposite. I have some pretty wacky far out ideas whizzing through my head, but, the idea behind this book of two worlds combining has never been one of them...which is very interesting to me, ie I'm praising this part.

Now, for the non-praising. Being one of the most frugal people I know (as fancy Nancy says, frugal is a fancy word for cheap) I have another measurement I use to determine if I think a book was good. If I pay full price for it I like it...I never buy books full price unless I've read them before and I want to have them forever. If I get the book from the library and I manage to accrue an overdue charge and I'm not cheesed-off, then I like it. Worldbinder was a book I forgot to return to the library for a week past the due date. 70 cents worth of overdue charges made me realize I didn't like the book.

I think the problem, for me, was that I wanted more of the same ol' Runelord stories I've been reading up to this point; adventure, blood and gore, endowments. But, this book took a different story path. I do not know for sure what will happen, but, I can make an educated guess. From the few hundred pages I read, this book seems like the start of a long drawn out story that will end with a family reunion type ending...like Star Wars, "Luke, I am your FATHER!"

There were many many new characters, and with the combining of the two worlds it seemed like everyone was somehow related. The story was dragging along really slowly as the characters discovered how things and people had changed with the binding of worlds. I guess I'm a bit impatient? But, it's spring and I can finally go outside after a long cold Canadian winter. The NHL playoffs are in full swing, which means hockey every night on TV! Plus, househunting. This leaves only little stretched of time for reading, and I think this is the type of book you need to devote some serious time to. The story is long and drawn out, which can be wonderful if you have the time...but, is a hindrance if you don't.

I think if I really connected with the story I would have made time to read it. Since I didn't I'm afraid I will have to give it my 'do not read' rating...ouch, I'm sure that hurts.

RATING - DO NOT READ*

*Unless you have lots of time, and spending upwards of 70 cents on a book does not bother you. As well, this is not a rating on the entire Runelord series, just this particular book.

SONS OF THE OAK

Sons of the Oak

- David Farland -

This is the fifth book in the Runelords series. One of those long drawn out fantasy epics. Thousands and thousands of pages, filled with far flung mythical ideas to make the mind escape into another world...which I guess is the point of most fantasy books? I'm going to throw a big disclaimer in here - This book is very far flung fantasy, maybe even 'hardcore' fantasy would be a good descriptions. I'll justify this point by giving you a quick rundown of the story; the Earth King dies, the evil demon Shadoath is back, the Son is a fireweaver, the forcibles are in sort supply, old souls are being reincarnated...'nuff said? To stress my previous point, you have to be really into fantasy to appreciate this one.

Luckily, I am into 'hardcore' fantasy. So, this book was a page turner for me.

You really need to read the first four books of the Runelords to get the full experience that is offered up in Sons of the Oak. If you recall, the previous books centred around a guy named Gaborn. This seemingly regular guy's destiny was to become the Earth King, which meant he could use the powers of nature to defeat evil. As I stated earlier - a far flung fantasy. Sons of the Oak turns the page on the Earth King novels and enters a new chapter, the life of his sons.

What big shoes those sons have to fill! If your father was the Earth King, the guy who saved the world from an eternity of darkness, how can you ever live up to that? This book explores that question. The books begins with a big battle scene. A gruesome extremely detailed battle scene. One, that even disturbed me...when there is descriptions of brains hanging out of heads, that are stuck to some knight's lance..that disturbs me a bit. After this action packed beginning the majority of the book is your typical journey/discovery story (I call it). You know? One of the characters journey halfway around the world to end up fighting the heartless, souless, evil villain. Along the way they discover their hidden mystical power, and eventually accept that it is their destiny to battle evil. In this case Fallion, the Earth King's first born, journeys to 'the ends of the earth' in an attempt to escape death. Along the way he discovers he can control fire. Luckily for him fire brings light, and evil heartless villians are controlled by 'darkness'...you can guess the ending by where I'm going here.

Even though many of the fantasy books I've read have very similar stories they never seem to get old. Take a look at the infamous fifty year old classic The Lord Of The Rings. What happens in this book? A young hobbit journeys halfway around the world and on the way there realizes he has some mystical power (in this case the ring) and that his destiny is to fight the darkness.

What makes this book different? There is an idea Farland calls 'endowments', where a mixture of magic and metal is used to transfer traits from one person to another. People can give up things like strengh, endurance, beauty, eyesight to another. The person taking these endowments can then have double the strength or double the eyesight of the common man. They are then called Runelords, hence the name of the book series. The good and bad points of endowments are examined in the books. Obviously there are some good points, like you can 'make' a super warrior to defend your kingdom. But, there are so many negative aspects. What happens to the people who give up their traits? Who cares for them? How far will someone go to get endowments...from children?

Overall, this book had a great story, lots of deeper ideas/theories to leave you pondering late into the night, some really gruesome scenes (if that is what you are into?), and best of all an ending that leaves you hanging...because there are more books! Gotta love finding a good series that has book after book.

RATING : READ

RESURRECTION MEN

Resurrection Men

- Ian Rankin -

When I classify my reading preferences I do not put myself in the mystery reader category, I always say I'm a fantasy reader. I have noticed that there are a few similarities between mystery readers and fantasy readers, most notably the volume of books. I'm confident in my opinion that fantasy readers tend to read a lot of fantasy books. I'm just as confident that mystery readers read a lot of mystery books. My proof - take a good look at the set up of your local book shop and you'll notice the large sections dedicated to mystery and fantasy (they are not mixed up in the general 'fiction' section).

Being in the fantasy camp, I have only dipped my toe in the ocean of mystery books. A few mediocre books is all I have read. This led me to think all 'mystery' gendered books were cheap, cheesy, cookie-cutter non-masterpieces. Having been around the block, or bookshelf, in the fantasy section I realize there are just as many cheap, cheesy, cookie-cutter fantasy books out there. So, a fantasy novice could easily stumble upon a few bad fantasies and write off the entire genre. It's as if you need a guide to lead you through the vast selection of books in the section. I was lucky, I had a guide who sent me towards Rankin...and since then I've polished off a few of his books with glee. This guide was a short term member of my now defunct bookclub who only chose one book and it was by Ian Rankin. He mentioned liking the detective 'Rebus' at one of our bookclub meeting and was met by blank stares (as the majority of the readers were fantasy readers). Who was this 'Rebus'? Well we were about to find out.

Rebus, a maverick in all ways. A police detective who works for the Scottish police in Edinburgh. He has a problem with authority and is often bending the rules to get things done. He is a copper who fraternizes with criminals on occasion, in seedy bars where he indulges in his massive drinking problem. His life is a mess. But, under this tough skinned exterior is a good cop, who always gets to the bottom of a case (typically a murder) no matter what it takes. He is that gruff character who you question the entire novel and end up applauding at the end. That is who 'Rebus' is.

In this book, Resurrection Men, Rebus is sent under cover internally to bust some corrupt officers. The only problem is Rebus does not have the best/cleanest past, so his previous cover ups are popping up all over the place...he could end up 'busting' himself in this process! I won't give much away by saying he eventually succeeds in getting these corrupt cops, but, it's an adventure getting there...and seeing how it all ends up (as in, who dies!).

The thing I like about Rankin books is all of the Scottish slang thrown in. You get a wonderful taste of Scottish culture and even the odd description of scenery (other than the inside of a bar). There are great explanations on how Scots are different than the English, which ignorant me didn't know anything about...what? They all live on the same island right? What really surprised me was how much instant coffee they drink.

My only concern with this book was the number of characters. There were just too many; Rebus and his 'sidekick' Siobhan of course, then a few murder victims from the cases they are working on, four or five co-workers, then the suspects which number a few, then the handful of underworld denizen (snitches, gangster leaders, prostitutes etc). This tactic of using a lot of characters is a double edged sword. On the one side, there are lots of characters that can be used in a variety of different ways to further the story along or make it that much deeper (and hence, a more fulfilling read). On the other hand, keeping track of thirty names can get kind of confusing, especially when you have an ignorant reader like me that keeps mixing up city names with people's names. So, this is not a book to read in short burst or when you are very tired. It is best to set aside some quality time and make an effort to concentrate on memorizing all the names.

Rating: READ

EAT THE RICH

Eat The Rich

- P.J. O'Rourke -

This is a book that I keep hearing about. I first ran across mention of this book while reading some random article about 'the best humour books' that came across my webfeed thingy on the top of my email (at work I might add...I read it on my lunchbreak ok?). Then it turns out to be February's bookclub book on the BBC's radio program The Strand. So, I instantly went to the library's website and looked it up...yes! It was in! I could start my humourous journey through the world of economics. Yes, I'm that dorky!


Just before starting this book I read through an issue of MAD magazine. Remember MAD? Well, our library has a few copies, they are in the basement in the 'teen' section...yes, I'll admit it, I was wandering through the teen section, but, I like to make full use of all areas of the library. Funny though, I should read MAD and then start Eat the Rich. They are strikingly similar. Both are satires to the extreme...and in fact, I wouldn't be surprised in the least if O'Rourke was a writer for MAD.


Back to the world of economics in Eat the Rich. O'Rourke dishes out a very tongue-in-cheek summary on the basic theories of economics. You may be familiar with a few; supply & demand etc. Being a business major in university I had the joy of taking the required micro/macro economics for years so I found this sarcastic view of economics very funny. As for the non-business minded people - you won't understand a thing. When he starts into the theory of comparative advantages I'm sure all you'll get is that he is insulting John Grisham and Courtney Love through a chart somehow! Actually, this is only one small section that is laid out like a textbook with graphs and charts (this is the part that made me think of MAD the most) which look almost exactly like my first year econ book. O'rourke's charts end up making funny jokes like point B and point S make BS (haha). This is funny, but, I have a real world example that made this even funnier. In my first year econ we had a 'cool' prof. She let us have cheat sheets, told us exactly what was going to be on the exam, and get this : she made charts with the supply/demand curves for funny things likes smokes and booze! How cool was she!?


PJ also takes us on a trip through the world looking at different economies to try and figure out which one is the best. Being an American seems to have tainted his vision a bit, er a lot. His travels consist of criticizing the country he is visiting and slyly comparing it to the overwhelming success (his opinion) of the US. The only positive visit he had was to Wall Street! He thought those screaming/rushing/greedy stockbrokers were just wonderful guys. The polite reasonable citizens of Sweden did nothing for him. In fact, their generous 'welfare' state benefits (like maternity leave) were almost criminal in his mind. How can a country just pay people to 'not work'? Then he berates their high taxes and their word/philosophy 'lagom' (which means something similar to 'just enough', as in not greedy not impoverished just good...er just click the link). From the ol' capitalist point of view I can see his argument that money in the US may make more profit than that in Sweden...but, strangely he completely left out any of those surveys/rankings that put quality of life in Sweden in the top few countries, while his precious US always hovers around the double digits. There is a lot more to life than money O'Rourke! Ok, enough with my soap box speech back to the book.

There were a few good points to the book. The wide range of vocabulary PJ uses is astounding. He sent me searching through my dictionary a couple of times - per page! Unfortunately, many times the word did not show up. I guess many of his words were quasi-fictitious words, as in understandable but not dictionary-worthy (see I can make up words too!). Even with all these rarely used words, in a veiled attempt to confuse the reader, the writing was clear.

Now onto the 'bad' parts. How about we start with O'Rourke's remarks about Canadians? The only mention about Canadians in this book is when PJ is visiting Cuba strangely enough. While explaining the tourist industry in Cuba he throws some off-colour remark about the only visitors seem to be Canadians who's idea of a good time is visiting the all-you-can-eat salad bar for seconds. How insulting! Even before this hurtful comment I noticed the book had a very negative tone. Most of the 'witty' comments/jokes were just blatant insults of other countries.

I did manage to catch part of the BBC's bookclub when they had their interview with O'Rourke and I was a bit taken back. He sounded nice! No insults, no negative comments...in fact, he said he felt very positive about the future of the world, even after the 'economic meltdown' in the US. It was a complete 180 from his writing in Eat the Rich!

Rating: DO NOT READ*

*Only read if you have run out of MAD magazines and want to hear more American-centric world views...and it helps if you have a degree in Economics and can catch the subtle econ-jokes.

THE HOUSEKEEPER AND THE PROFESSOR

The Housekeeper and the Professor

- Yoko Ogawa -

This book came to me via Jen, or more specifically her bookclub. It's a smallish book, so when Jen finished it quickly, said it was good, and left it lying about...well, I had to read it. Right?
If you google this book a ton of reviews come up and a majority of them, to my surprise, use the exact same description - CHARMING. And, it's true. This book is a charming book.
Ogawa does a great job of blending a simple story, about a Japanese housekeeper forming a friendship with her employer the professor, with quirky facts about math. This book follows a well used story line, where you have two people who have trouble forming a relationship because of some strange reason/problem. In this case, the professor only has 80 minutes worth of short term memory and cannot remember anything past 1978. So, every morning when the housekeeper comes over it is like they are meeting for the very first time (hmm, 50 first dates anyone?).

What I found interesting right off the bat, and I don't know if this was Ogawa's intention, is that these two characters seemed to be both social outcasts in a way. From what little I know of Japanese culture outward appearance is very very very important. The housekeeper, whom had a baby when she was a teen and is now a single mother, and the Professor, who is covered in scraps of paper he attaches to his old suit to jog his memory, both seem to be on the outs with society's expectations.

After we get into the book a bit we find the professor is a genius in math. He can find the most fascinating facts about any number; shoe size, phone number, IQ? And, he has a way of explaining the most advanced math theories in simple language that we can all understand. This math obsession brings a lot to the book. First, it brings up some interesting/fun math facts. Two, it make this book more interesting than a story strictly about a relationship (blah). Three, it gives me something to think about outside of the book. I found myself thinking about this math genius and how it was so interesting that he could have all of this math knowledge stored up in his brain. I wondered how much time he has spent working with numbers? How ones brain could concentrate on something like that for so long? What makes a brain be able to do that? I found I was a bit jealous knowing I'd never be that knowledgeable about one subject. Then I thought about how sad it was that he was so obsessed with numbers. How he seemed to lack social skills, and any kind of life outside numbers. He had no other domestic skills, not even basic cooking or cleaning. His whole life was wrapped up in thinking about numbers. Even his small interest in baseball was only there because of all the stats and numbers. I thought the baseball story line just accentuated how much the professor was like a kid in many ways. It was almost like the housekeeper was taking care of two kids?

However, the way the professor worked with numbers made you just want to meet him. I just wanted to throw a random number at him and see what he could make with it. He was a lovable character who came across with a good heart. He seemed to make the most out of his life and rarely let his 80 minute memory get him down. The housekeeper seemed to be a good hearted character as well, with tireless energy making everyone else's life happy and clean.
There seemed to be no 'villain' in this book. I was half expecting a rival mathematician to show up one day and have an algebra dual just to add some action to this book. But, alas no evil math wizard showed up. We are just left with the stresses of everyday life to add climaxes to the story.

I'll gladly repeat what many others have said before me, this book is charming.

RATING: READ

METATROPOLIS

METATROPOLIS

- John Scalzi -
(Jay Lake, Tobias S. Buckell, Elizabeth Bear, Karl Schroeder)

I saw this book on display at the library on the 'new sci-fi/fantasy books' and ended up taking it out. This was definitely an 'impulse buy', if that is possible to do at the library? I was rushing through picking up something else, on my lunch break, and I just happened to be walking by the 'new books' display (which seems to happen every time I'm there). I was not in need of a book since I was still only halfway through The Bourne Identity, but, I picked this book up anyway. Just to glance at it of course. What interested me was the self labelling on the front cover - A collection of stores in a shared future...yes, now seeing that in print I realize it's a bit weird to find that interesting. But, I really like books that take a look at the world in the near future, especially those horribly depressing post apocalyptic ones!
Looking this book over I realized this book had a couple of things against it, at least in my eyes. One, it was not a book about a post apocalyptic world, which I initially thought it was because of the cover art. Two, it is a collection of short stories...I don't typically read collections of short stories, I prefer the long drawn out epic trilogies of at least 1800 pages. Even though I think I prefer epics, the two books of shorts stories I have read in the past have stuck with me, and I enjoyed them and I think about them from time to time. Anyway, I gave into my impulse to 'impulse buy' and borrowed the book.

The five stories are all good enough to be stand alone short stories, but, together they create something more. The writers all do a great job of interlacing their individual stories with all of the other ones in the book. For eg. there is a constant contracted security force called Edgewater that makes an appearance in each story. Many of the new gadgets of the future make their way into multiple stories (like the 3D glasses). There is also mention of the other stories and cities the other writers use. These all help congeal the book, bringing it all together like a nice jam. One story is like the sugar, another like the strawberries...although good on their own when mixed together to make they can make much more...like a nice jam, mmm.
I know the question you are asking, which story was the pectin - not tasty, but, needed to hold the mixture together?

Even though the stories all revolve around a similar future world and have a focus on exploring what cities will be like, all of the stories have drastically different feels. The major difference is the writing. All of these writers have different styles and putting them back to back really shows this off. I have to say Jay Lake's writing style; straight forward, very simple, short sentences, small paragraphs, was a the one I enjoyed reading the best. This was the first story in the book, so it grabbed my interest and created that positive feeling right off the bat encouraging me to keep turning those pages. I'm glad the book started with that story.

The first story, In The Forest Of The Night, took a look at a city built by environmentalists. Imagine how a city of extreme 'tree huggers' would look, function, and survive. Well, Jay Lake, thinks it would be found in the deep forests on the Pacific west coast. It would be hard to find since the citizens would be very conscious of the land and do all they can to prevent harming it. These people would be spread out, and very little government would exist. They would be self sufficient and eat fungus and stuff they grew in the trees (yum). It kind of reminds me of the many fantasy books I've read and the elves. Elves have cities in the forest, that blend right in. They somehow keep in balance with nature and cause no ill effects.

The next story, Stochasti-City, by Tobias S. Buckell, looks at how Detroit might fare in the future. With sky rocketing oil prices and a ruined economy, it seem many people are getting desperate for jobs. 'Turked', is the key word here. Turked, is taking a small job that is posted on the web, some job like - take this unmarked bag to a corner three blocks from here and drop it in the mail box. Obviously some illegal smuggling or something, but, when there is no work people get desperate. The main character takes one of these 'turked' jobs, which is to watch a security compound and text a message everytime the security officers come out. He ends up not getting paid so he tracks down the people who were supposed to pay him. Turns out it is a gang of bikers, not motor bikes (what with the cost of oil and all), but bicycle riders. Who are also extreme environmental activists. They take over abandoned skyscrapers and turn them into farms/greenhouses. They travel across the country doing this. I guess this appeals to the main character and he ends up joining them and has a much more fullfilling life. No more 'turking'.

The third story, The Red In The Sky Is Our Blood, Elizabeth Bear, is also set in Detroit. It is another story with a bicycle. A hardened biker chick is recruited by a secret society (I guess the another idea of an alternate city of sorts) who live in the former suburbs. All of the houses are abandoned, so this secret society salvages stuff to make them into greenhouses. This book has the feeling of a public service announcement/survival guide. It talks all about how landfills are filled with so much stuff that if we scavenged it all out we could live a mighty fine life, and lack nothing. I found it kind of preachy and the story line was lacking...even for a short story. If I were grading this I'd give it a D- . Which is kind of sad b/c I've read Elizabeth Bear novels and liked them.
This story may be the pectin I was talking about earlier.

The fourth story, Utere Nihil Non Extra Quiritationem Suis, by the editor John Scalzi, is a bit of a lighter story. It starts and ends with a pig in a wedding picture. This one takes place inside a new St. Louis. It's a closed city where the economy strictly managed. The main character is a slacker who finally comes of age where he either has to work or leave the relative safety of the new city. However, since he waited so long and never took school seriously he is left with a position working in a skyscraper pig farm. Lucky guy!

In the end he goes from a kid on the edge of society, not connected and not involved, to find his place in society. This one had a slightly more positive look at how efficient cities could be in the future...even if they are surrounded by chaos.

Final story, To Hie From Far Cilenia, by Karl Schroeder, is the only story that takes a peek into a far flung idea for a future city. The idea is a virtual city 'made' from online gamers. It sounds like they put on these special glasses that change the way the world looks. Buildings are given an old world feel, people's clothes have the look of the early 20th century, and other's with the glasses in the same world are highlighted. It sounds like the more you put into this world the more access you get, and eventually can move onto deeper and deeper worlds. They are hidden cities, functioning apart from 'reality'. There are restaurants only members can get it, with food grown by other 'members', all living in buildings for 'members' only. Very complex...in fact, a little too complex for me to really follow. This may have been better in novel length?

What was missing for me...a future city on the moon!

Overall, I felt kind of depressed reading these prophecies of our future. Where has the happiness gone? Where was the hope of a brighter future? Where has the dream of space travel gone? Maybe I'll look for a brighter book on my next visit to the library.

Rating: READ