ME TALK PRETTY ONE DAY

ME TALK PRETTY ONE DAY

- David Sedaris -

A strange trip through David's life. One of those essay type memoirs with a mix of childhood stories, then a bounce to adulthood to recount David's trips to France where he attempted to learn the French language. It would have to be filed under 'Humour', but, I found it kind of lacked laughability.
Depending on how you look at your childhood it can be funny. I'm sure we all have stories about how strange our parents behaved, or that time you innocently said something completely inappropriate, or that you had a lisp.
Sedaris had a lisp. He talks all about it. Then he moves onto how, no matter how hard he tried, he could never grasp the French language - even when he moved to France and spent years there! The way he made fun of himself and the situations he found himself in was amusing. The mistranslations were the highlight - 'me talk pretty one day' as an eg.
I was, however, a bit disappointed with this book. It started off making me laugh, a little, and then nothing. It lacked any, er, edge. Ya, no edge. Sometimes writing on the edge can be funny. The only other book I'd read by Sedaris was Squirrel seeks Chipmunk, which was ten times edgier. It was at times, in fact, too edgy. I suppose this was what I was expecting. Not a light romp through french mistranslations.
I may read other Sedaris books in the future and benchmark them against Squirrel seeks Chipmunk (which is actually kind of scary). As of now, if for some reason you have to read a Sedaris books, I'd wouldn't recommend this one.

RATING : DO NOT READ*

*As stated above, if you are looking for an edgier read, do not read this book, instead read Chipmunk seeks Squirrel.

READY PLAYER ONE

READY PLAYER ONE

- Ernest Cline -

An awesome adventure through 80's video game / pop culture. 

The story will hook you and keep you scrolling the pages on your e-reader as fast as your arcade hardened fingers will let you.

Set in a depressing sounding future most people take refuge online, on an all encompassing virtual world called the Oasis. When the founder of the Oasis dies he leaves a final message - he is leaving his vast fortune and control of the Oasis to the person who completes his challenge. The challenge is a series of cryptic clues that lead users to keys. Find three keys and you win.

Now, the challenges are what set this story well apart from anything I've ever read. You need to take a trip back to the beginning of the video game era. You should hook up that old Tandy or Commodore 64 to practice. Throw in some early arcade games, a little dungeons and dragons. Brush up on your Monty Python quotes and your John Hughes movies b/c they will be essential as well. Player's need to be experts on all things 80's.

The book follows one player, Wade, on his quest to find the keys. We get to feel his excitement and despair while he tries to solve these cryptic clues, travel the universe of the Oasis, and compete with his virtual friends. When the competition starts to escalate he is not only in danger of dying in the virtual world but in the real one too. Each challenge is unique and interesting, putting all of Wade's gaming talents and 80's knowledge to the test. Everything from a perfect game of Pac-Man to reciting word for word The Search for the Holy Grail. The story builds and builds to an epic battle where, of course, good defeats evil...but, it was close for a few chapters.

One of the blurbs on the back cover is a quote by Jon Scalzi (who coincidentally is mentioned in the book a few times), he describes the book with one word - 'nerdgasm'. That pretty much sums it up. If you are a 'nerd' you'll love this book. If you are not, well, you won't understand anything and should not even open the cover.

I never realized how much of a 'nerd' I was until I started reading this book. I found myself laughing at all the 'old' 80's references, and lovingly recalled similar experiences with that computer that used a cassette (instead of disks). I fully understood all the D&D lingo. I even found myself jealous of Wade when he showed up to a virtual club in his Delorean made up to look a bit  like Kit from Knight Rider and then orders a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster from the bar! Now, that is sad eh?

I'd describe the book as a nice little nerd package. You've got your epic fantasy/quest story line, you've got your nerd references, and your nerdy main character eventually saves the world (and lands a girlfriend - who also happens to be a big nerd). There is even an all powerful Wizard! What more could you want?

Rating : READ READ READ

THE WINDUP GIRL

THE WINDUP GIRL

- Paolo Bacigalupi -

I've been meaning to read this book for about two years now. It was one of those highly acclaimed, sci-fi, Hugo award winning, much talked about books that 'everyone' needs to read. Which was why it was on my radar. This month is dystopian novel challenge month, which is my real motivation for finally getting around to cracking this one open. And, I have to say it is not a book that 'everyone' has to read. It is one of those books you will either love or hate.

Set in the near future the world is a wreck, mostly because of genetically modified foods and the genetically modified viruses that destroy that food. It is a tough look at corporate greed and the potential disasters we could face if the food scientist go too far. We have a contrasting crowd of characters from questionable corporate men, corrupt politicians, zealous military officers, slum dogs, illegal immigrants, to the 'windup girl' (a genetically modified test tube baby).
I have read a lot of this genre, the dystopian type book, and I have to say this one did feel original. Not your typical post apocalyptic journey through wasteland or an overly aggressive government who's mustached face is all up your face. The difference was subtle. Perhaps it was the writing style, how the differences between our real world and this futuristic dystopian world were told through examples in the storylines. There was no one thing in particular that I can pull from this novel, just the general feel I guess?
One thing I was not impressed with was the entire storyline. It didn't go anywhere. Actually that is not true, the storyline did a complete loop of the block. Started with a corrupt government, turned the corner with a revolution, came back to the original corrupt government situations and put it in park. It was a bit of a journey, but, nothing too mindblowing. Which surprised me since this book was a Hugo award winner.
On a bit of an aside note (more like rant) I haven't been impressed with any 'award' winning book that I have read in the past couple of years. You'd think if a book won an award it would be outstanding. But, I'm beginning to realize that is not the case. If a book wins an award that seems to mean only that the book is not terrible.
Another problem I had was the setting. Set in Thailand was a big downfall for me. I have very little knowledge of the country, it's people, the culture, even the geography. Paolo did a fair job of explaining the flooding problems, the neighboring countries, and the religion issues when needed. But, I didn't feel drawn into the setting at all. Which makes me think if it had been set on another planet or fantasy world it would have felt more real, had a bigger impact on me. Instead of leaving me half guessing and hoping for more.
So, a bit of a downer review I realize. But, I just didn't get the warm and fuzzies from this dystopian type book. Yes, that implies I do get the warm and fuzzies from other equally sad and scary tales. Again, the book was ok it just didn't meet my expectations.

RATING : DO NOT READ

ISLAND DEATH TRAP

ISLAND DEATHTRAP

(Mack Bolan The Executioner #56)

- Don Pendleton -

If you've ever watched Corner Gas and you have fond memories of the book club episode you will be familiar with the Mack Bolan series. That can be one motivation for reading this book. The other can be a dare by another bookworm. Ah, the ultimate book dare - read a Mack Bolan book! Either way I ended up with this book in my hands and actually read it.
It turned out to be a mixed blessing. I enjoyed the 'man-adventure', which is code for explosions and an excessive body count (which I believe topped out at forty or forty two?) But, I also realized I'm the kind of guy who likes reading about needless explosions and one man killing machines who have their own brand of justice. Who am I?
You may look at yourself in a whole new light after reading this book. I know I did.

RATING : READ

TINTIN BOOKS!!!

TINTIN BOOKS

- Hergé -

One of my literary challenges this year was to delve into the world of the "Graphic Novel" (aka comic books). This genre is continually coming up in my booklife. Online, I seem to be in a crowd of Graphic Novel readers and lovers. Offline, I noticed our library had set up a Graphic Novel section...right near my regular haunts in the Fantasy and Western section. Which makes me think a couple of things. 1) Since when did comic books become 'literature'?  2) Maybe I should take this genre a bit more seriously...I would probably enjoy it anyway.

After some quick google-wikipedia style research, one name kept coming up again and again - Tintin. I've decided to start my journey at the beginning. Apparently the Tintin series was a ground breaker in this genre. Shock to me as I remember reading these books when I was young. Why not reread them and see what they are like through adult eyes?
So, off I go to the library to search out a Tintin.



THE CALCULUS AFFAIR  - #18

According to reviews this book is the best of the series. Um, ok, I guess I was expecting more on the 'novel' front. Perhaps I'll have to read a few more before I come to any conclusions of my own.
The 'graphic' front was great. I was very surprised by how good the 'comics' were. The detail in the pictures was outstanding, especially the crowded marketplace scene. You could easily get a good feel for the time period, the location, and the action that was happening. You could even follow the story just by the pictures alone.
The story was good but felt too rushed...is that to be expected when pictures are added? To sum it up, Prof. Calculus invents a sound machine that could be used as a weapon. He is kidnapped by some secret agent types from what appears to be a cold war era communist country in an attempt to steal his idea. Tintin and the Captain go on a whirlwind tour of what looks like Eastern Europe or East Germany in an attempt to save the professor. As shown by the cover of the book they do save him, but, it was a close one. Thrown in with this action packed adventure was a humorous bit involving a pushy insurance salesman - that was a highlight for me.
But, I did have a hard time dealing with the lack of a backstory. As I stated, I am a novel reader.

EXPLORERS ON THE MOON - #17

Ahh, I'm reading these things all out of order. But, it doesn't make any difference, they are all essentially stand alone stories. Or, at least it seems that way to me after reading two.
This 'episode' was great! Tintin and the gang mistakenly board a spaceship to the moon. Somehow they manage to land the ship on the moon without any mishap. Then, Tintin takes the historic first steps on the moon. The Captain joins in and they go exploring a bit.
In the meantime, an evil villain has stowedaway on the ship...I guess a lot of this is explained in #16...he comes out of hiding and takes over the rocket. Luckily, Tintin is there to save the day, using only a wrench and a pistol I might add.
Explorers was actually kind of humorous with the Captain continually being the brunt of physical harm type jokes (he must have bashed his head two dozen times!) or the Captain getting drunk on his smuggled whiskey.
Onto #10.


THE SHOOTING STAR - #10

Shooting Star was more like the Tintin I remember of my short stint reading them in my youth. This one was far fetched and was so full of scientific holes it could have been mistaken for swiss cheese, haha. But, that is what made it fun.

An earth shattering juggernaut of a meteorite smashes into the Arctic and causes little damage b/c it lands in the ocean. Tintin and crew decide to go find it on the theory that it contains a new mineral non native to Earth. However, a rival gang has the same idea. Tintin and crew win, of course, however, there is more to this meteor than meets the eye. Strange things happen, like the giant mushroom as pictured on the cover. This fantasy science was one part I found pretty amusing. The race was also full of adventure including a harrowing plane flight. There was also a lot of that repetitive humour (The Captain and his drinking problem the majority of the jokes). Ahh, the perfect Tintin.



GALLOWAY

GALLOWAY
(Sacketts #14)

- Louis L'Amour -

This one started out good, but, then kind of fell apart at the end.

It starts with Flagan Sackett escaping from a tribe of natives who were torturing him and about to kill him. He has the challenge of evading capture from the pursuing natives and surviving the desert...with only the loin cloth he is wearing. He manages to make fire, scratch up some food, and cloth himself all the while staying clear of the Apaches. 

At this point I was into the book. It was a good mix of informative (about the desert plants and such) and suspenseful (would he manage to hide out). I was only hoping nobody would ask what I was reading - a book about this naked guy running through the desert with some natives tracking him and this strange wolf following him too.

After a run in with a guy named Curly, Flagan finds himself back in civilization, being nursed back to health by a nice looking young lady named Meg.

Then the story loses its composure. A lot of things happen in the blink of an eye; Flagan decides he wants to start a ranch in town, Flagan makes some enemies with the local land grabbers, Flagan sends letters to his Sackett kinfolk asking for help, there is a brawl, there is some shootin'...it only took about 100 pages and we have a dozen characters and a few different story lines. The depth of the book was lost at that point. It was still entertaining, especially the brawl. It was classic; the white hat cowboy, being the gentleman, throws the instigating black hat out of the store to save the store owner from having this store messed up...then he beat him to a pulp. How nice of him. 
By the end of the book the bad guys have been shot up and are leaving town except for one who has one last bullet for Flagan. Instead of the fastest draw type shoot out they have a cat and mouse sniper fest up in the mountains. The last few pages were very riveting...who was going to live and who was going to die?

RATING : READ

MEN AT ARMS

MEN AT ARMS

(Discworld #15)

- Terry Pratchett -

The Night Watch is changing. Their leader is leaving. They are recruiting on an equal opportunity basis - Dwarves, Trolls, even Women can apply! They are even seriously attempting to solve a crime! What has the Discworld come to?!

What I like about series books is that you get to be re-introduced to beloved characters you met in previous stories. You get another chance to learn and connect with these characters, to gain a better understanding of them, to spend some quality time with them. This could sound like a literary nightmare if you despise these characters, and you are now forced to endure another tale about them. Luckily, I love the City Watch. They are quirky, and funny, and good hearted (well, except for Nobby). In Men at Arms they continue their streak of being quirky, funny, and good hearted (again, except for Nobby), and I thoroughly enjoyed reading about them.

What really stood out for me in this novel was how Cpl Carrot seemed to really come into his own. He was confident, he took charge when needed, and even lied! Well, he didn't actually lie, but, he did manipulate his words to imply something else...that's lying, right? It seemed to me that Carrot is beginning to realize just how much power and influence he really has and starting to use it a bit. He has a heart of gold now, but, will this power tarnish it and send him over to the dark side in the future?

There were also a few new recruits which added to the story. A troll and a dwarf, sworn enemies, have to work together...we know where this is going. They'll argue and bicker, but, when the fighting starts they will have each others back. And, just as a spoiler - one of them dies! Yes, a death! It was a bit surprising. The other new recruit is a woman. Not only a woman, but, a woman with a secret. 

So, to sum it up; a Carrot, a dwarf, a troll, and a woman with a secret. With that description you should be out of your seat running to the bookstore to snatch this one up! I will not stop you.

RATING : READ

COOKING DIRTY

COOKING DIRTY

A story of life, sex, love and death in the kitchen

- Jason Sheehan -

Thank goodness Sheehan acknowledged his writing is very similar to Anthony Bourdain (whom I've read a lot of), because at first it comes off like he is just riding the coattails of Bourdain and doing a little copy cat plagiarism type stuff. But, as you read through this book Sheehan's narrative and writing style soon become strikingly different. I can't help but compare this book to Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential. They are both brash, cuss filled, memoirs of kitchen life that highlight the worst possible things that happen behind the scenes of a restaurant. Similar topics include disgusting food handling, drug/alcohol addiction, workplace violence, harsh work conditions, injuries, and just the terrible lifestyle choices that seem to be common place in every kitchen. Even though the topics are almost identical Sheehan's writing is much more personal. He gives us a glimpse into his soul; raw emotions, motivations, passions, and vivid descriptions of his deepest thoughts. He clearly articulated his highest ups and his lowest lows, which I found extremely interesting. His lifestyle, and it appears the lifestyle of almost all cooks, is so far removed from my 9-5 suburban family man life that it is hard to imagine, yet, intriguing to read about. Sheehan explains it all in such a fun and insightful way. Sometimes he is sarcastic and pokes fun at the crazy life he lived, and sometimes he is serious and lays out some heavy stuff. Both styles made me want to keep reading.

Sheehan takes us from the beginning where he stumbled into a dishwasher job, worked his way through the ranks, failed time and time again, then finally burnt out and moved onto food writing. He lets us in the backdoor the restaurant and shows us the strange world that few know about. He writes about the pirate mentality of the kitchen, the comparisons to war and the battlegrounds, the machoism, and the insular world of restaurant workers. He brings up the paradox of how when he was cooking he was so passionate and alive, yet at the same time despised the toll it was taking on his life. Once you get caught up in the work there is no other life outside the kitchen. I found it a bit surprising, and sad, that for a decade or more Sheehan seemed to have only dysfunctional relationships with everything and everyone (his job, his girlfriends, his family) due to the demands and lifestyle of a cook.

Finishing up this book I'm left with a greater insight (and respect) for those who work the grills and fryers of every restaurant. How it does take a different sort of character to work the odd hours and every holiday that most of us take for granted. It also leaves me with a guilty feeling that I do not want my children going into the 'food services' industry and be caught up in the strange (and very unhealthy) lifestyle that seems to go along with it. However, I would encourage them to read about it and would even buy them this book.

RATING: READ*

*Must read non-fiction book and Read before you die rating as well. In other words, I really really liked this book and you should too!

LORDS AND LADIES

LORDS AND LADIES

(Discworld #14)

- Terry Pratchett -

As per the author's note - this book builds off of a previous Discworld 'witches' book (Witches Abroad). I believe if you can pick up on the small carry over of Magrat being tentatively engaged to King Verence you have no worries about being lost, other than the usual feelings of being lost when you immerse yourself in Pratchett's Discworld.

The whole love and marriage theme continued through this novel, extending its claws into all of the witches. Nanny Ogg, no surprise (as evidenced by her four or five previous husbands). BUT, even Granny fell prey to love, even if it was just for a few brief moments. And, although it may sound like a cuddly, soft, lovey-dovey tale, it was in fact one of the crudest books to date - b/c along with marriage comes the wedding night! 

I swear, if I read another variant of the naive bride and groom's wedding night...I'll...most likely laugh. However, on top of that (forgive the pun) there are jokes about the unicorn (and the size of his horn), the long man hill, books on marital...er, martial arts, and the culturally insignificant stick and bucket dance (not to be performed in the company of the fairer sex).

Pratchett managed to tie these varied subjects (along with string theory) in with the plot of grinning elves attempting to take over the world. After reading this book you will never look at elves the same again. What's behind that constant grin anyway?

Granny and the girls, along with help from some Wizards (and the Librarian) do end up wiping the smirk off the face of the elves in a very exciting finish. Every then lives happily ever after, or so it seems.

I was actually a bit surprised by the depth of character development in this book. There was the usual one liners and non-sequitur conversations that are light and funny, but, there was also a lot of background brought up about the witches younger life. I especially found Granny's love life history, her decision to become a witch, and her true feeling about Magrat, very revealing and interesting. To me, it really gave her character a lot more depth that was missing from previous books. This character building does mean that every line is not a funny, not some cute play on words, or a pun filled paradox, like most of the other Discworld books have been. However, it did seem a bit more rewarding to read this, number 14, than many of the others before it.

My one complain is not about the writing, but, about technology. I read an ebook format which removed the footnotes from the bottom of the page and filed them away in the back. I guess the idea is that you can push on the footnote number and hyperlink your way back to the footnote. Great idea. Who wants to read the footnotes in a book anyway? Well, I do! Especially in these books! They add an extra layer of humour and sometimes it is the funniest thing on a page! The problem - the hyperlinking doodad did not work on my reader, therefore, I couldn't conveniently read any of the footnotes (until I was finished the book if you want to be technical). On top of that, the battery ran out, it froze, the screen had a layer of jam on it from my kid's sticky fingers playing with 'Daddy's Toy' which they know not to touch, and the formatting of the breaks made reading conversations hard...and this is the future of books? I love technology.

RATING : READ

THE ANDROID'S DREAM

THE ANDROID'S DREAM

- John Scalzi -

I had been meaning to read Scalzi for awhile now. From all of the praise I had heard about him I thought his writing style would be an ideal match for my reading, er, style. And, it turned out to be about 5/8 on. I did enjoy some of the tounge-in-cheek comments sprinkled throughout the book. I liked the satirical takes on politics. I liked the futuristic ideas he made up. I ended up liking the serious action scenes.

Oh so many things on the 'like' side.

Any check marks on the 'dislike' side. Yes. The actual story.

I ended up filing this one away under my 'did not meet expectations' folder. I found the story a bit too confusing, mostly b/c there were a lot of similar characters. We had some FBI, we had some Dept of Defense, we had some White House folk...essentially they all played the same role (face of Earth's government) and they all had generic names like Phillip or Robert. I could not keep them straight.

I do have to say that Scalzi did a pretty good job at 'world building', creating a whole universe of alien creatures and a new kind of planetary UN system. That was the highlight of the book for me.
The humour was there but, for me, was lacking. When it did come up it was a lot of tongue-in-cheek type stuff that was...subtle...weak...not all that funny. For eg. the plot revolves around a race of aliens that can communicate by scent. They become offended by one character who has a fart machine installed into his body which lets out gas that conveys insulting messages to these aliens. Haha, a smart body function joke. Then we have a scene in a mall where bodies are smashing through windows with, wait for it, signs that super Nike shoes are 33% off. Again, funny and subtle.

However, for most of the book I just felt lost. I could not follow the characters, I wasn't laughing (that much or that hard), and the overall plot did not interest me. I would say, it is a smart sci-fi book with a dive into DNA and artificial intelligence, but, was overall a lackluster novel for me.

Perhaps, if I try Scalzi again, I will go with his much hyped (and award winning) Old Man's War, instead of just randomly grabbing any of his titles off the library rack.



RATING : DO NOT READ